I am proposing my own internet law, on the similarities to Godwin's Law. I call it Dragon's Law.

The first person in an argument not immediately, directly, and originally related to the First Amendment, who invokes the First Amendment, loses.

Go out, observe it in action, cite Dragon's Law.

This work is kicking my ass -- not so much the work, really, but the juggling of my schedule. I'm working overnights at least once every other week now, often more, so I'm having to push my sleep schedule all around the clock. Wake up at *this* time, no matter how tired I am, so I can be tired enough to sleep that night. Go to bed late, no matter how tired I am, because I need to set my circadian rhythm back so I can function during the night shift. It's really wearying, and what I really need -- a couple days off in a row to rest -- isn't materializing for another, what, eleven days? At least most of my days in this upcoming 11-day stretch of constant work are eight hours, even if they're not exactly scheduled in a less-than-painful way. It's killing my mood and my feelings. I cannot wait till I've completed this move... I only pray I can find a job that allows me to get by without this extra-overtime baloney.

In rereading Rhapsody, I wonder how on earth such an excruciatingly flawed novel not only got published, but recieved critical accolade. It repeatedly fails on suspension of disbelief and plausibility, it's technically mediocre, and the main character should have been named Mary Sue. But I guess that gives me hope that someday I too will be published. I know I'm better, after all. I need to sit down and agent-search more, too... it's a much more difficult feat than I'd anticipated. Ugh, when do I next have the time, though? Stupid work. Oh, I know what I need to do to make it happen -- print out a bunch of Chapter Ones.

Note to self, even smart doctors just don't understanding Internet proxying.

Updating because so few others do!

Brief summary for those of you who don't know: my credit card company took $1000 out of my account instead of $100, killing me.

To my surprise, my bank agreed to reverse the overdraft charges incurred by my credit card company's error. This is ALMOST enough, after my paycheck was swallowed, to put me back into positive territory. Unfortunately they were unable to freeze my account, which means if one more thing touches that negative balance I'll get hammered again. And the credit card company, after several days, hasn't restored it...

I have a really, really bad feeling about this. Not to mention that I'm guaranteed to get hammered on my car insurance, if they don't fix it by the end of the week as they promised. That delay in and of itself is ludicrous, and if it does result in charges, you can bet I'll be calling them up to demand the money they cost me. Still, if it costs me rent and car insurance coverage, that may not be enough to solve the problems that will result.

I'm pretty well prepared to fight this as far as I can. I just wonder if it can ever be enough.

On a better front, I've been in a writing mood lately, and have produced a fairly decent amount of what I hope is fairly decent material. This has not been without its costs to my left hand. Ow. I wonder if I could learn Dvorak, but I couldn't use it at work even if I did...

...hmm, that would be an interesting crusade to start at work. UPMC benefits support alternative lifestyles, why not have UPMC ISD support alternative keyboards?

I have decided I dislike the phrase "alternative lifestyles."

My hard work at DDR is slowly paying off. I'm noticably improving, up to where I can start taking on songs at Standard. Still have a long way to go, of course, but it's nice to do something where I actually see myself getting better.

Now, I wish weight loss would be just as noticable, but all I can do is trust that busting my ass on songs in the heat (which makes the body work harder to keep cool) is having even a small effect. I do know that my body shifting into fat-burning mode is nothing but good provided I make *use* of that mode... and my DDR sessions are usually long enough to ensure that I do. Building up stamina is also a plus, not that my leg muscles have ever been weak.

I ought to invest in a small pair of arm weights and learn proper techniques with them. I could even do those sitting at my computer, or while working. That would be good; I don't need lots of strength, but endurance is all to the better. But then again, I've said I would before and never did.

Altogether I'm a little depressed about my writing; that'll be magnified when my rejection letter comes in the mail next week. Ah well.

I am updating again. Hooray. I am so boring, along with my entire life, that I probably put people to sleep just by seeing my LJ name...

So the latest news in grocery shopping technology is the personal shopper, as I discovered going to the Shadyside Giant Eagle yesterday. Register for the program and then whenever you sign into the kiosk, you get a personal scangun. Scan and bag your items as you go through the store; at the end you just transmit the data from the gun to the register and pay.

I think this is a pretty cool idea, although it makes me wonder how they intend to safeguard against shoplifting. If you scan and bag everything, who knows what in your bag actually HAS been scanned and recorded, and what you tossed in there without fanfare? I'm sure there's something but I don't know it. Still, as said I like the concept, but I'm a technophile. I'm convinced that there are a large number of people out there who will refuse to use it because they perceive it as adding more work and grief to their experience -- or just that they're too good to do such "lowly" work.

I have no respect or tolerance for the attitude of some people.... can you tell?

I have realized this:

No problem cannot be solved by fire.

None at all.

Why does everyone who ever calls me have a giant "Dragon is in the bathroom!" detector?

"Though many diseases competed for the title of 'the silent killer,' this could not be said of the Peruvian Screaming Virus..."

Hoo boy, I'm a mess.

The other night I had the worst headache I can remember having, ever. Foolish me felt it coming on, but forgot to take my ibuprofen to work that day. The mild, mobile point of pain inside my head, perfectly bearable at the beginning of the twelve-hour shift, was all but forgotten once my neck erupted into searing, screaming pain. A good description would be a screw in the base of my neck, with the muscles extending upwards wrapped around it, stretching tighter and tighter till it felt like they would burst. Not long after that reached its crescendo my head erupted in splitting agony. By the end of the night I was both dizzy and nauseated, and honestly a little afraid to drive home. A ton of ibuprofen and food when I got home salved the ache, and sweet sleep cured it soon after.

I discovered yesterday that a job had opened up in CMU Housing. I worked there for the entirety of my college career, and I can only hope they remember me. I think it's work I could do very well at, and it'd be a definite jumping-off point for my future if I got it. Much more so than my current job. For that reason alone I'm sure I won't get it. Just get me an interview, I pray; I hope my cover letter will distinguish me in that. If not, I keep looking. I can transfer internally in just a few days, if I find a good place to work.

I'm a mess lately. I'm working morning shifts, which I simply find it impossible to acclimate to. I could stand getting up at 8, or even 7, but 6 AM is a bit too much for such a dedicated night owl. So much of the time I spend wandering about in a foggy, sleep-deprived daze.

I'm storngly considering creating a blog just for the expression of my philosophy and beliefs in essay format. I have a lot of these, a lot more than people would credit to me just to begin with, and it would be a nice writing exercise. Who knows, maybe I'd even get some widespread attention out of it. I'm a good writer, I should write.

I've actually been accomplishing writing lately, which pleases me. Not at the pace I want, but a random schedule and an unstable life situation naturally impede progress. My eternal thanks to those who read my writing and help me improve it.

So tired.

Work is royally sucking tonight, and by that I mean ROYALLY. We haven't dropped below 20 patients once this evening; any time we come close, another few ambulances pour in the door and off we go again. Translated, I'm doing the work of two people, essentially; this is about how busy it is, ideally, during a day shift. (Lately work has just been awful anyway, though. People have slammed through here like we're offering a buffet; every time I've been here we've been jam-packed.) I'm tired, headachey, and I'd like to go home now, please.

Not only is there no overtime to be had lately, but I forgot about the stupid Pittsburgh EMS tax, which for those of you who don't know, hammers you for $52 your first paycheck of the year. I'm watching myself sink into debt with a certain amount of dismay. On the flip side, I'll soon have the ability to transfer internally. With any luck I'll be able to make a little more money, possibly get a little more overtime. But I also have to plan for advancement. Can I get a job that offers both? I'm really worried about this, and my financial situation in general. I can barely provide for myself; what's the point of all this, if it's just self-fulfilling? I earn enough money to survive and get myself to my job the next day, and nothing more. I have to have more than that. If nothing else I'd at least like to be able to provide for a family and a future.

I'm really, really worried about this.

To be honest, this new year has really sucked. I started it out miserably sick; I've gone broke, the heater in my new car no longer works, and my DSL was shut off over the weekend. I guess it's all slowly correcting itself. I'm not sick any more, my DSL is back up, and my car should be fixed under warrenty (minus fifty bucks, though, which bites).

The only good thing this year, so far, has been game day last Sunday. Man, did I need that! I haven't played much of anything in ages, excepting Munchkin with tigerphoenix and her spawn, so digging up some new games and kicking butt at them was nice. I can only hope for more in the future.

I shouldn't be too critical of the new year. Last year started out with me unemployed and essentially anticipating moving back home with my parents, so I suppose that was even worse. It turned around mid-January, though. Let's all hope 2006 does the same for me.

I haven't heard from that story I submitted to a magazine some six months ago or so. I am going to assume this is a good sign, i.e. my work did not get shuffled into the "crap, reject automatically" pile. Still, if I don't hear by March I'll submit a polite letter of inquiry. It'd just be nice to know one way or the other. I don't expect anything.

Despite my best intentions, I was so thrown off by the mess last weekend that I accomplished no writing. I really need to not let myself get away with that; the more I think about it the more I realize writing is my only escape from this mess I've gotten myself into. And yet at some point writing stopped being *fun*. I need to just put aside worries and questions and DO it. I worry too much these days, about everything.

It's hard not to worry, though. I wish something would go right.

On a side note... without saying too much about anything, why the hell do people come in at 2:30 at night with the things they do? Seriously, what the hell? Three days off wasn't enough.

And I'm starving. Someone pet the dragon, please.

I have a lot of thoughts on things at the moment.

If I had one particular complaint about the many things I'd like to be doing at the moment, it's... actually two twin complaints. On the one hand, I don't have that much time, thanks to my work schedule and the screwed-up sleep schedule which results from it, and on the other I can't use my time very efficiently. The second I blame my ADHD for. I have a number of pursuits which require a great deal of time and effort be devoted to them to bear fruit, and lately I've been unable to sit and focus on any one thing for a great deal of time. Not much is getting done, unfortunately.

Tomorrow, I would like to clean my apartment. I haven't done it in a bit, and although it's not in that bad a shape, I still need to do such routine things as vaccuum. Cleaning always gets put off, because I work hard and long hours, and it's not something I want to do before or after work. But on my days off, usually I'm playing or trying to enjoy my day.

Man, it's busy tonight.

I'm still angry about certain events. I don't expect to stop being angry any time soon. This is an odd feeling for me, as usually I'm the type to explode and then calm down once again. I tend to be volatile, but over the long run it all balances out. Not this time.

I actually feel bad about the plans I had, next year, to move into an actual house with actual roommates. I think I would have enjoyed that. My social life is so incredibly limited right now, and I so rarely get the opportunity to game or goof off with other people. I suppose it's for the best, though. Generally my friendships just don't last long enough for a roommate arrangement to be feasible. Still, boy I wish I could get a good game going.

Too busy to write much more, at the moment.

For the most part I like my job, but I think I need a sign that says "Messenger: Please Shoot."

What the fuck. Seriously, what the fuck?! How many god damn people can come to one goddamn ER in one goddamn day?! Motherfuckers! Fuck shit fuck!

Fuck!

...And to think, in high school, I never swore. Ever.

Work is smashed, swamped, nightmarish, just plain ugly.

But nothing can ruin my day, because someone brought bagels. Mmmm bagels. I love bagels. Bagels bagels bagels.

Definite kudos to UPMC for extending employee benefits to domestic partners.

I voted. So y'all know. I just didn't post about it!

No one likes to be hated. Unless it's for a very good reason, and that reason is consistent with and necessary for one's continued existence as the person one is (for example, being hated by supervillains is good, if you're a superhero), people in general prefer to be liked. I don't think this is a standard issue for most people, though, as most people don't have people hate them. Hate is a strong emotion.

I, however, seem to have a natural knack for making people hate me.

I think what bothers me the most -- and, frankly, scares me -- is the reasons I'm hated. People who, in my opinion, really ought to know better than to judge someone without knowing them are some of my most fervent opposition -- and these aren't people who can claim to know me. Half the time I don't even understand their reasons for feeling the way they do. Some of them made their decisions based on seeing another person's side of the story, without pausing to consider my reasons or motivations in the slightest. These are people who themselves could and are prejudged, and no doubt rail at the injustice of it, yet they turn around and condemn me without knowing me in the slightest.

And that scares me.

This is normally a post I would leave friends-only, but I'm opening it just for the sake of open discussion. Maybe some of those people who do have a great and not-entirely-grounded contempt of me will see it and give thought to their actions. On the other hand, probably not. But a dragon can hope.

Does anyone in Pittsburgh ever feel the particular urge to play CCGs any more? Yeah, I know that's so last century, but I still get the urge every now on then.

I just have a general urge to be social, for some reason, but my schedule is never stable enough to schedule something perpetual and recurring like a role-playing game.

Heck, let me expand my query... anyone in this city feel like being social?

Angelic Layer is a pretty cool manga.