NaNo Word count: 50132
Chapter count: Middle of 12
Best excerpt:

The Count faced me once more. Search as I might, I could find no kindness in his expression, but so benign was his manner that when he jabbed me with a sudden, swift question I started as if stung. “When presented before a Gathering of the Peerage prior to a prayer being conducted by the priesthood of Ka and attended by the clans of Ka, Sui, and Chi, in what priority must those present be greeted?”

Gathering of the Peerage? Sir Erich had mentioned that –- when nobles concerned with some effort of prayer met in diplomatic negotiation before the prayer itself was conducted. But he hadn’t answered me this question! I guessed. “The highest-ranking—“

His words sliced through my uncertainty. “In the Second Battle of the Grandweist Strait, which commander spearheaded the naval bombardment of the shore fortfications of the Chou Dukedom?”

Nothing, not a glimmer of recognition. “I don’t know, my lo—“

“In selecting a blade for a battle which is expected to last from seven to ten days, in which one will most likely be fighting afoot but a possibility of mounted combat exists, what is the proper length, balance, and temper of steel one must look for in a sword?”

Anger and frustration overruled my sense and stole control of my tongue. “Ones that make the sword usable, my lord.”

This work is kicking my ass -- not so much the work, really, but the juggling of my schedule. I'm working overnights at least once every other week now, often more, so I'm having to push my sleep schedule all around the clock. Wake up at *this* time, no matter how tired I am, so I can be tired enough to sleep that night. Go to bed late, no matter how tired I am, because I need to set my circadian rhythm back so I can function during the night shift. It's really wearying, and what I really need -- a couple days off in a row to rest -- isn't materializing for another, what, eleven days? At least most of my days in this upcoming 11-day stretch of constant work are eight hours, even if they're not exactly scheduled in a less-than-painful way. It's killing my mood and my feelings. I cannot wait till I've completed this move... I only pray I can find a job that allows me to get by without this extra-overtime baloney.

In rereading Rhapsody, I wonder how on earth such an excruciatingly flawed novel not only got published, but recieved critical accolade. It repeatedly fails on suspension of disbelief and plausibility, it's technically mediocre, and the main character should have been named Mary Sue. But I guess that gives me hope that someday I too will be published. I know I'm better, after all. I need to sit down and agent-search more, too... it's a much more difficult feat than I'd anticipated. Ugh, when do I next have the time, though? Stupid work. Oh, I know what I need to do to make it happen -- print out a bunch of Chapter Ones.

I think I'm going to revise my writing filter once again.

Instead of just looking for critiques on current works, I'm going to make it more of a "talk about writing" ramble in general, regarding both my own work and my progress and thoughts on it, and writing in general (if I do have any thoughts I think are interesting enough to share).

I'm not going to just post publically because I figure a lot of people won't really care, and no big if they don't, but that being said if you WANT an insight into my writing life you're welcome to it.

I put a lot of work into a story called Entropy's Deceit -- in fact, almost 9000 words over the course of two nights. I really am productive on my overnight shifts at work.

Interestingly, the story is about the refutation of a belief I hold most dear -- that entropy is the most powerful force in the universe, and that we will all lose against it. This is a thought I have kept close to my heart since the credit debacle of a few days ago. One little mistake can ruin a whole life.

I'm so cynical it hurts.

I wish I could be this productive on a regular basis. I'm definitely on a writing upswing, but that's going to suffer this week both due to adjusting back to evening and daylight shifts, and tigerphoenix being here. In fact, my entire schedule over the next few weeks is so work-packed that I fear I won't have time or energy for much of anything else.

I hate that my life is reduced to stasis, that I'm literally unable to do more than work as hard as I can to keep myself exactly where I am. I have no money to put aside for savings, or future plans, or nice things. I'm stuck, and this is exactly where I never wanted my life to go. That hurts me so much.

It's ironic; if I could get published, the money would help me defray my debts, and I could work less hard, and have more time to write. Conversely, so long as I'm working my ass off, I can't put the time and effort into my writing that I need to accomplish my goals. Catch-22.

Something needs to change, and soon.

I have GOT to find some new markets to submit my stuff to. Anyone out there in the wide world have a fantasy magazine they're particularly fond of, a list of them conveniently sitting around... something?

I sent off two stories yesterday. One went to Black Gate, the other to the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction.

To be honest, I have no real hope that either of them will be accepted. In the end the only thing I can do is send them out again to new places, and see if any of them will ultimately accept it...

But really, I'm becoming completely demoralized in my quest to get published. Not to write -- my writing has been going reasonably well. But in terms of getting published, that's a horse of a different color, and relies less on quality and more on appeal.

Maybe I'll never get published. THAT's a horrible thought, since it means I've effectively wasted my life.

Eh. Don't mind me; I'm just depressed about this all. It doesn't mean I'll stop trying.

I am currently in possession of the nicest rejection letter on Earth.

Last August I submitted a short story to Black Gate Publishing, which is (to something of my shame) the first story I've ever submitted for publication. I didn't expect it to be accepted, of course, but they did sit on it a long time, so I was a little hopeful.

Today I got a letter from them, which below the standard rejection boilerplate had the following note from the editor:

Please accept my apologies for holding this so long as we considered it. It really is inexcusable.

Almost. I really enjoyed this one -- it's fast paced and exciting, and was a terrific premise. But it's not as original as a handful of others we're considering at the moment.

You have a real flair for ploy and character, and I hope you'll try us again soon. We've worked hard this quarter to eliminate our backlog andget our response time back to normal.

Like I said, nicest rejection letter on earth.

So I need to ship out my story somewhere else, now, and meanwhile write something new. And I already have an idea...

I'm not doing NaNoWriMo, officially anyway. I'm doing what writing I can, but I'm aiming for a different goal: Publication.

To that extent, the amount I write is less relevant to my goal than the quality and completeness of my work. 50,000 words in a quarter-finished novel is worse than 10,000 of a complete story.

This is not me disparaging the event by any means, simply a statement that my goals are different!

Ah ha!

Useful information, and...

Second-Order Idiot Plot. That's what the Sword of Truth Novels have become!

All right, here's the deal. I do not intend to make a writing journal, because I have absolutely no objection to using filters, and that takes up the same space on a friends list and is less hassle for me overall. Certain people are on this list already, and they are exempt from, but encouraged to follow, the rules:

If you'd like to be on the list, please let me know. I'll add you, but it comes at the price of a serious critique -- to wit, one for pretty much everything I post. This isn't an ego-feed, I don't *want* to see "It's just good" without some serious positive critiquing to back up exactly what you think works and what doesn't. To me, "It's good, I can't see anything wrong with it" translates into "This didn't really interest me enough for me to really read it."

With that condition in mind, if you'd like to be included on the filter (and are not already), please comment on this post.

While rooting through old files on my computer, I find this creative writing piece I did back in 1996. The humor is, consequently, pretty dated, but I still find it funny. So -- I present it for your amusement.

( Curtain rises! )

This part of the midterm came about after we listened to the story of the Better Baby Institute, a place that claims to give you a method to teach your child to read, learn foreign languages, play music, even do math problems that no ordinary person could hope to accomplish. Our professor has appeared on several programs to dispute the claims of this sort of place. This essay is on why people are so drawn to places like this despite their dubious claims.

1. Parents are, of course, drawn to the early years entirely too much. Human nature dictates the various psychological motivations behind parents' desire to improve their children in the early years; society reinforces these beliefs through media representations.

Parents can have any number of reasons for being drawn to the Better Baby Institute and its brethren. The optimistic viewpoint holds that parents want the best for their children, and feel that they cannot afford to miss this sort of opportunity, especially with "proven" results. These parents are trying to give their children an edge in a fiercely competitive world. The flip side of this is those parents who enroll in this program for all the wrong reasons - to mold their child into a particular vision they may have, to live vicariously through their children, to "keep up with the Joneses" - all manner of less-than-sterling motives.

Regardless of their true motivation, all parents are essentially trying to do one thing: give their child or children every advantage in a culture that, increasingly, judges people by their intelligence. Literacy is more crucial to our culture than it has ever been throughout history - and the Better Baby Institute offers to teach your child to read early and well! Math, science, and computers are the jobs which hold both money and a measure of prestige in this culture - and the Better Baby Institute claims to have your child doing mathematical equations you yourself couldn't do without a calculator and an instruction book! Modern communications makes it possible for a budding garage band to publish their songs electronically and become an instant sensation - and the Better Baby Institute will teach your child to play an instrument!

Although the intellectual elite (defined here as those with IQ's of approximately 147 or greater, commonly defined as "potential genius") has never ruled the world, it certainly controls it. Our lives are defined by science and technology. What parent would - could- in good conscience deny their child an opportunity to be in the upper crust, to be a Nobel prize-winning scientist, a groundbreaking mathematician to be compared to Einstein, or any number of other pipe dreams.

The media fuels this controversy in several ways. First, its method of reporting research has led to the common perceptions of the effect of nurturing. Many parents have come to believe that they can override the natural constrictions of physiology with sufficient care and effort - this mindset is obvious in those parents who think that "patterning" for a disabled child will somehow cure the child and allow it to live a normal life. With every report on the correlation between parental reading and intelligence, or what have you, parents leap into the fray with both feet, following the policy that "more is better" while failing to account for diminishing returns. The media has also encouraged the perception of early childhood as a critical period for growth. This is not intentional; it is simply a repercussion of how they report. Early childhood is, in fact, a critical period for many activities - language, for example. The media demonstrates this, leaving parents with a "use it or lose it" impression generalized to almost everything. The idea of a young brain being more plastic, the concept of unused brain cells dying, the stories of children's ability to learn - these are what parents see, and what they make their judgments on. Is it any wonder that they conclude that early childhood is the critical period for all learning?

The problem with the Better Baby Institute and its ilk is that they don't really have the answer they claim to. They promise that their methods will produce results - but in fact, as Glenn Doman himself admitted during the interview, the actual secret is simply parents paying attention to their child, helping them learn and guiding them. In short, parents should be parents. Unfortunately, many parents prefer the quick-fix solution, looking for a "magic formula" to make their children better without much real effort on their behalf.

As a future parent, I too feel the seductive call of the Better Baby Institute. I know its claims and principles are false, yet a part of myself chides me for passing up an opportunity to give my children a chance to be better than they ordinarily would. Of course, this part of my is stupid, so I will ignore it. I think the best thing I could do for my children is to be a parent - to invest time, effort, and love into them. Humanity has existed for millennia without the Better Baby Institute; Copernicus, Plato, Einstein - none of them attended a Better Baby Institute. I like to think that, just because one suddenly exists, we won't abruptly be unable to raise our children without it.

I wrote this for a midterm. I know this applies to one or two of you out there, and may someday to more... the readership of my journal is all female for some reason. :) Now, I know I'm in waaaay over my head, spouting out opinions about a biological process I'll never undergo and can't possibly understand, but I gotta pass the class, right? So here goes:

2. I believe that the major philosophical division between alternative birth centers and the traditional medical profession is that of the role of the patient. While traditional medicine views the patient as an object, alternative care views the patient as a partner in the process.

Traditional medical care typically treats the patient as a machine. The process of birth is simple - the doctors facilitate the machine's production of a child. Because of this, birth becomes a procedure with certain protocols that must not be deviated from. Kathy McCain pointed out many of these in the course of her talk. The "machine" must be prepared in a specified way - in other words, the woman must be in a given position, sterilized, and so forth. The machine is given a set time to produce the child, after which doctors will assume it is malfunctioning and manually override it. Most of the women I have talked to who have had children report that their labor was induced. They speak of it as nothing special, a testament to how common the procedure is, but I cannot comprehend why it is okay to rush the process unnecessarily. If the machine seems like it is not working perfectly or as expected, the doctors will remove the baby manually. Again, in speaking with women, many of them indicate that they had C-sections performed, even though they were not having serious problems. Again, I cannot understand this.

Conversely, the alternative birth centers seem much more open to the needs of a patient as a person. By allowing the patient a choice in how the birth will proceed, from position to medication to actions, the patient is treated as a person rather than an object. By making the patient feel more active, more responsible, and more in control of the birth, she will feel more comfortable and be more confident. In addition, the patient is less likely to suffer from complications that might occur during normal hospital birth, such as possible side-effects of induced labor, or the risk of infection that a C-section carries.

Both birth paradigms seem committed to the best possible medical care, as opposed to acting out of social or political motivations, but in different ways. Hospital care views "best possible medical care" as an absolute and general concept. Each woman is set up to receive the absolute best. They are positioned so as to ensure that doctors can intervene best if something goes wrong; their labor is induced, in theory to minimize how much of it they have to endure; they are given C-sections not only when necessary, but to prevent any mishaps or difficulties. Although this is an effective and efficient procedure, it suffers from two serious problems. First, the whole process of preparing for disaster is usually not necessary, and can lead to a doctor feeling that he has to use the techniques available to him, rather than let them go to waste. Second, the patient is given very little choice in the matter, and may feel uncomfortable and helpless.

Conversely, alternative birth centers acknowledge that patients may not always want what conventional medicine says is "best" for them, such as a C-section, and offers them the right to choose. The policy of these birth centers is that birth is a normal and natural life process, and as such, medical intervention will not be necessary in many if not most cases. That being the case, women should be allowed to have as much control over the process as possible. Recognizing the differences between patients may not be what traditional medicine views as the best practice, but it is definitely better from a humanistic perspective, as it is more conducive to the emotional and psychological well-being of the mother in question. It is also more realistic - as Kathy McKain pointed out, only in recent years has birth become the province of the hospital. Hospitals seem to offer more benefits, but in reality those benefits are only necessary in some cases.

If my spouse was expecting a child, she would deliver that child wherever she darn well pleased. I wold have absolutely no intention of deciding for her how she was going to deliver that baby! That said, however, I believe I would encourage an alternative birth center. By nature I am a very anti-technocratic, naturalistic person. Though I'll never experience it, and probably have no real right to say so, I believe in keeping things simple and natural. If inducing labor is not necessary, it shouldn't be done; the same applies to C-sections. I also believe that women should have as much control over the process as possible, considering they are the ones giving birth. From practical experience as well, I know of one person currently planning to have a midwife-assisted birth, and she seems pleased with the choice. This is not to say that I don't believe in the ability of hospitals to handle difficulties or give care; I simply feel that a birth should not be treated as an emergency waited to happen without a reason to do so. I believe the natural emphasis of an alternative birth center is the best option.

EDIT 5/1/2007

This entry has been removed.

So, a lot of people have been posting writing,

Anyone want me to post writing?