I put a lot of work into a story called Entropy's Deceit -- in fact, almost 9000 words over the course of two nights. I really am productive on my overnight shifts at work.

Interestingly, the story is about the refutation of a belief I hold most dear -- that entropy is the most powerful force in the universe, and that we will all lose against it. This is a thought I have kept close to my heart since the credit debacle of a few days ago. One little mistake can ruin a whole life.

I'm so cynical it hurts.

I wish I could be this productive on a regular basis. I'm definitely on a writing upswing, but that's going to suffer this week both due to adjusting back to evening and daylight shifts, and tigerphoenix being here. In fact, my entire schedule over the next few weeks is so work-packed that I fear I won't have time or energy for much of anything else.

I hate that my life is reduced to stasis, that I'm literally unable to do more than work as hard as I can to keep myself exactly where I am. I have no money to put aside for savings, or future plans, or nice things. I'm stuck, and this is exactly where I never wanted my life to go. That hurts me so much.

It's ironic; if I could get published, the money would help me defray my debts, and I could work less hard, and have more time to write. Conversely, so long as I'm working my ass off, I can't put the time and effort into my writing that I need to accomplish my goals. Catch-22.

Something needs to change, and soon.