dragonoflife: (Scary Man!)
Dragon of Life ([personal profile] dragonoflife) wrote on August 28th, 2006 at 06:05 am
I put a lot of work into a story called Entropy's Deceit -- in fact, almost 9000 words over the course of two nights. I really am productive on my overnight shifts at work.

Interestingly, the story is about the refutation of a belief I hold most dear -- that entropy is the most powerful force in the universe, and that we will all lose against it. This is a thought I have kept close to my heart since the credit debacle of a few days ago. One little mistake can ruin a whole life.

I'm so cynical it hurts.

I wish I could be this productive on a regular basis. I'm definitely on a writing upswing, but that's going to suffer this week both due to adjusting back to evening and daylight shifts, and [livejournal.com profile] tigerphoenix being here. In fact, my entire schedule over the next few weeks is so work-packed that I fear I won't have time or energy for much of anything else.

I hate that my life is reduced to stasis, that I'm literally unable to do more than work as hard as I can to keep myself exactly where I am. I have no money to put aside for savings, or future plans, or nice things. I'm stuck, and this is exactly where I never wanted my life to go. That hurts me so much.

It's ironic; if I could get published, the money would help me defray my debts, and I could work less hard, and have more time to write. Conversely, so long as I'm working my ass off, I can't put the time and effort into my writing that I need to accomplish my goals. Catch-22.

Something needs to change, and soon.
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