Me, making a joke: "See, I'm not ever going to get dementia, I just struggle with a persistant inability to finish my..."

Coworker: "Finish your what?"

Me: ::waits expectantly for her to get it::
Me: ::and waits::
Me: ::and waits::
Me about three minutes later: "You know, if I'm lucky, you're going to get that in the middle of the night and it will keep you up."

Coworker: "I don't understand what you said! You just said you couldn't finish your... and then never said anything!"

I submit this as one of the greatest exchanges ever to occur in the Supreme Court:


JUSTICE KENNEDY: Well, is -- is the troll the scary thing under the bridge, or is it a fishing technique?...
MR. PHILLIPS [attorney for eBay]: For my clients, it's been the scary thing under the bridge....
JUSTICE KENNEDY: I mean, is that what the troll is?
MR. PHILLIPS: Yes, I believe that's... what it is, although...maybe we should think of it more as Orcs, now that we have a new generation.


(From the Wikipedia article on Internet trolls.)

Sorry, we're all outta happy endings today! We only have ones that end with horrible beatings!

NA: "I've seen his snake more than I care to have tonight."
Me: "There is *no* level of snake-seeing that is not too much."

Why me, God?! Why always me?!
--Vash the Stampede

Sick, sick, sick.

Quite frankly, yesterday was the sickest I've been in a decade. I was lightheaded, practically delerious, and there's even a chance I had a fever.

I don't get sick. I don't. Colds, yes, but I haven't had anything serious in years. I blame stress.

Sono mi ni kizare...Shingi! Niberun Baresuti!

I love that phrase, although I prefer its English equivalent (It shall be engraved upon your soul! Divine Assault! Nibelung Valesti!) to its more literal translation (I annihilate thy form...Divine Technique! Nibelung Valesti!). Valkyrie rules.

Hee hee.

"World Champion? I've known stronger houseplants."
--Vegeta, on Mr. Satan

Chibi-Trunks has style points to burn, and then some.

I love Daria. All things considered, I seriously believe it to be one of the best shows on television.

"Dammit! I can see their beady little eyes! ... God help me." -- Jake Morgendorffer, convinced he has parasites crawling up his throat

"If he's old enough to walk, he's old enough to train!"

"I don't have time to listen to Kakkarot's hair problems!"

"The universe is laughing at me with a big, stupid grin... just like Kakkarot!"

"I train alone."

"Ooops, it seems I've accidentally crushed your legs."

"Being a good fiend is like being a good photographer... you have to search for the right moment."

"Nappa, remind me to look into getting you dewormed again."

A conversation between me and a friend back in the beginning of the Android Saga...


Mighty intimidating androids, yes?
Like Danny giving a hard sell.
My favorite is the one that ate the Blueberry candy.
Which one?
Not the old one.
Ah, the fat one.
And funny how they managed to recap the previous episode without actually mentioning anything about it in any way, shape or form.
What was to say?
Last time in Dragon Ball Z....
(By the way, I do that guy's voice pretty good now....)
Awesome!
Err, have you been smoking heavily?
Only sausages.
Anyway, Last time on Dragon Ball Z....
Needing to bridge the gap between storylines, Chi Chi came up with a brilliant plan:
Slapstick filler!
You're not actually supposed to give that away.
Hey, this is a recap of the previous episode.
If they can't figure it out by now, they deserve to have it ruined for them.
Hold on a second....
*Gargles saltwater, then smokes a pack of Virginia Slims*
That's more like it!
Wow!
Now, where was I?
You were talking about slapstick.
Right, since Piccolo ate all the Marchmallow Creme Pies, and Goku refused to do the "Eye Poke times five" attack, they were forced to take their drivers' test!
That never happened.
Then, sometime, Vegita and Bulma got it on!
(In 400 times gravity)
We didn't see that either.
Yes, and then Yamcha pitched a fit like a little bitch!
You don't need to say that... just mention Yamcha was there, and it's
understood.
Look, don't tell me how to do my job!
Just who do you think you are, anyway?
Apparantly I'm Goku, considering he's the only other one who does announcements.
I can see it now....
"This is Vegita, in the next episode of Dragon Ball Z..."
"I am the best! I will destroy you all!"
That's always Vegita.
"Plus, me and Bulma get it on...."
I wonder if he knew that it happened.
".....All that, plus slapstick filler, in the next episode of Dragon Ball Z!"
Yeah, you do have to wonder about that.
She probably slipped him a date rape pill.
"What is happening to me?!? I am Vegita, Prince of the Saiyans! Why am I so sleepy!"
*After the fact*
"Curse you, vile woman! What have you done to my nether reigons?"
"And why does my tail smell funny?"
He doesn't have a tail any more.
Well, that would explain it, I guess.
Wait, it only got cut off the one time.
Shh! Shh! Quiet! Quiet!
It took Goku, like four times before his finally...
...sorry, sir.
Say, Trunks doesn't have a -- wait! Never mind! Uh... it make perfect sense! All of it!
*Akira Toriyama nods menacingly, then disappears into the shadows*
Stupid Toriyama-ninja.
At least you didn't have to deal with his talking poos.
Thank goodness.
You know, mayhaps we're going about this all wrong.
Seems to me Trunks isn't Bulma's kid.
You saw the silly cap the kid was wearing.
Maybe it wasn't a cap.
Then what IS it?
Maybe Puar did a little prest-o, change-o....
You've seen the old Dragon Ball cartoon, it can be done.
Hmmmm. Yes, it can...
Well, so long as it wasn't Oolong.
Man, even I could have done a better new voice.
Let's see you.
*Does a remarkably smooth Mel Torme impression*
Wow.
*Post-stroke, but impressive, none the less*
How about George Foreman! He'd be a great Oolong!
Yes, if we changed the name of everyone else on the show to George.
And what's wrong with that?
In the next episode of Dragon Ball Z...
It's go time for George and his fierce nemesis, the cruel and cunning George!
It looks like George might have finally met his match!
But don't forget George, who's training to become a Super-George!
But just when things look their bleakest....you guessed it.... here comes George!
And George!
But can even they stop the rampage of the evil George?
But can even they fight George, who claims to have a power level of george thousand and george?
Plus George calls the Great Dragon, George!
It's all part of a desperate gambit to save the planet George from total destruction!
And the Georges fight the George Force on King George's planet!
And George (who George always calls by the name he was given on Planet George, George) calls on the power of George's everywhere to use the power of the Genki George!
Oh, yes, and George merges with George.
But what's this? Mysterious time-traveling youth George tells George that George 18 and George 19 are coming from the future? Could this boy really be the child of George and... *George*?
Boy is George gonna be upset when he finds out!
On the next exciting episode of George George George!
That's it for George, stay tuned for George Wing.
Well, my head hurts.
You?
Yes.
Good work!
Score!

"Gohan may have crossed the galaxy and saved the Earth... but there's still one challenge he has to face...

"HIGH SCHOOL."

Videl is pretty cute... ^.^

HOT DAMN! They called him Mr. Satan! Yay!

Me: Raditz tried to fight King Yema, but King Yema was stronger. King Kai is stronger than King Yema. Goku was stronger than King Kai after training. So, has every bad guy they've killed since the Namek Saga started shown up in the afterlife, beaten the crap out of King Yema, and run about doing what they please?

My Friend: .....

My Friend: *Akira Toriyama shows up and tinkers with your head*

Me: Wow, the DBZ continuity is seamless and unquestionable!