So already today I have two messages on my machine: one asking me to work today, one asking me to work tomorrow.

I just came off four twelve-hour days in a row! Dammit, I need the money, but I sure as hell don't need it this bad. I'll pretend I was out all day.

UPDATE: Four calls. Two more for tomorrow, one home, one cell. Come on, I'm only one man.

Due to a staffing crisis at work I will be working till 3AM today. I apologize for the late notice of missing my shift. This makes today a 16 hour day for me, so it's not something I look forward to, but I reaaaaally really really need the money. Badly.

Holy *shit.*

Though it's nearly February and still nothing has gone right in this year, at least I can say my definitions of "right" have had to narrow slightly to make that true.

Have I mentioned I hate working morning shifts? I hate working morning shifts.

However, today I got a stellar yearly performance review. Funny to think that today is my one-year anniversary at the hospital and UPMC. This really isn't a bad job. If it paid more I'd be happier, but really I like my job and the people I work with, and not many people can say that. And my performance review really was good; my supervisor said that she thought I was one of the best HUCs in the department.

I work hard. I try hard. I just wish that could be rewarded for once.

I really, really, really, really want to play Arkham Horror again. That game rocks.

Work is royally sucking tonight, and by that I mean ROYALLY. We haven't dropped below 20 patients once this evening; any time we come close, another few ambulances pour in the door and off we go again. Translated, I'm doing the work of two people, essentially; this is about how busy it is, ideally, during a day shift. (Lately work has just been awful anyway, though. People have slammed through here like we're offering a buffet; every time I've been here we've been jam-packed.) I'm tired, headachey, and I'd like to go home now, please.

Not only is there no overtime to be had lately, but I forgot about the stupid Pittsburgh EMS tax, which for those of you who don't know, hammers you for $52 your first paycheck of the year. I'm watching myself sink into debt with a certain amount of dismay. On the flip side, I'll soon have the ability to transfer internally. With any luck I'll be able to make a little more money, possibly get a little more overtime. But I also have to plan for advancement. Can I get a job that offers both? I'm really worried about this, and my financial situation in general. I can barely provide for myself; what's the point of all this, if it's just self-fulfilling? I earn enough money to survive and get myself to my job the next day, and nothing more. I have to have more than that. If nothing else I'd at least like to be able to provide for a family and a future.

I'm really, really worried about this.

To be honest, this new year has really sucked. I started it out miserably sick; I've gone broke, the heater in my new car no longer works, and my DSL was shut off over the weekend. I guess it's all slowly correcting itself. I'm not sick any more, my DSL is back up, and my car should be fixed under warrenty (minus fifty bucks, though, which bites).

The only good thing this year, so far, has been game day last Sunday. Man, did I need that! I haven't played much of anything in ages, excepting Munchkin with tigerphoenix and her spawn, so digging up some new games and kicking butt at them was nice. I can only hope for more in the future.

I shouldn't be too critical of the new year. Last year started out with me unemployed and essentially anticipating moving back home with my parents, so I suppose that was even worse. It turned around mid-January, though. Let's all hope 2006 does the same for me.

I haven't heard from that story I submitted to a magazine some six months ago or so. I am going to assume this is a good sign, i.e. my work did not get shuffled into the "crap, reject automatically" pile. Still, if I don't hear by March I'll submit a polite letter of inquiry. It'd just be nice to know one way or the other. I don't expect anything.

Despite my best intentions, I was so thrown off by the mess last weekend that I accomplished no writing. I really need to not let myself get away with that; the more I think about it the more I realize writing is my only escape from this mess I've gotten myself into. And yet at some point writing stopped being *fun*. I need to just put aside worries and questions and DO it. I worry too much these days, about everything.

It's hard not to worry, though. I wish something would go right.

On a side note... without saying too much about anything, why the hell do people come in at 2:30 at night with the things they do? Seriously, what the hell? Three days off wasn't enough.

And I'm starving. Someone pet the dragon, please.

I can't stop being tired. I mean, I really can't. I've pumped caffeine into my body, tried fresh air.. exercise obviously doesn't work. I thought I'd pushed my sleep schedule around enough to function, but evidently not.

On the other hand, even pushed around, 9a, - 9pm is a long, hard day.

Don't expect me around much tonight, I intend to sleep early and well in preparation for tomorrow's 14 hour day (9a-11p).

This has BAD DAY written all over it.

*15* damn people walked in the door in the hour after I got here, more than doubling our patient count. The X-ray people yelled at me until I falsified an X-ray requisition. I'm getting the runaround from every doctor I try to call...

Wendesday, I can survive till Wendesday... I hope...

Did everyone enjoy their holiday? Guess what! I'm celebrating a holiday *today*!

Happy EveryfuckingpersoninthecityisintheER Day!

October 9th through the 15th is Bring Your Culture to Work Week. Clearly we would be serving the interests of UPMC if we brought our culture into work.

-Hold a recipe contest for staff to bring in family recipes

"Energon cube, anyone? This one is made from hydroelectric power."
"Too boring for me, this sucker's nuclear Energon."

-Attend a foreign film

12 STRAIGHT HOURS OF DBZ!

-Attend a cultural performance, event, or exhibit with a group.

This one might be tricky, considering that it might be hard to promote a joint ER/Medical Records movie viewing. Still, no one can argue that viewing Transformes: The Movie would be an intense and moving introduction to our culture.

- Tour the University of Pittsburgh's Nationality Rooms.

"Sirs, please stop insisting that mecha be added as a separate display room... No, we are not oppressing your culture, it's just that... No, sirs, we do NOT have a Mushroom Kingdom room!"

-Wear cultural attire representing your ethnicity

"No. SOUND. The forehead protector symbol means I'm a *Sound* ninja!"

...You've aleady got this one covered, just wear a short-sleeved shirt.

-Create a display of flags from around the world

"They probably meant Earth."
"Screw that and fix the Iacon flag, it's crooked."

-Play music from different cultures throughout the day

"Wait, explain to me again what the hell 'the Touch' is?"
"Aaagh, you'll never get it. I'm switching to the "Closer" Mario remix."

- Share with coworkers how to say "hello," "please," "thank you," and "goodbye" in different languages.

"BAH WEEP GRAA NA WEEP NINNY BONG!"
"Bah weep graa na weep ninny bong?"
"BAH WEEP GRAA NA WEEP NINNY BONG!"
"BAH WEEP GRAA NA WEEP NINNY BONG!"

::Shadyside Hospital bursts into dancing to "Dare to Be Stupid"::

I'm a fighter. I can't help it. That doesn't necessarily mean I like it, of couse. But it just doesn't seem to be in my nature to simply lie down and die. I'm easy to make into a bad guy for the most specious of reasons. I can't rest easily unless I at least let my side be heard.

Really, between just taking abuse and fighting it, I can't win either way.

For those of you who knew about my sore throat thing, I did in fact ask the PA here at the hospital to give it a look. She decreed it nothing more serious than a mild cold with post-nasal drip, so you needn't worry on that score.

Incidentally, I hate people who think that they're better than other people because they have a fancy title, and feel it's okay to yell at people for accurate descriptions of their behaviors just because THEY don't like owning up to how they are. I guess people in a hospital setting tend to have that sort of attitude, but I've never had it with any of the docs I know, or most of the nurses. The people who I don't work with on a day to day basis are the ones who act like that.

But that's no surprise. Anonymity breeds stupidity. God, I HATE people. Scour the world, I say. Scour the world.


I work 12 hours today, tomorrow, and Saturday, and 8 hours on Sunday. After that... a blissful week of vacation. Between the stresses at work, and the even worse stresses at home, I need it. Assuming I survive to it, of course!

Hmph. I really can't say that this day is going well.

For one, I'm working 12 hours today, and then I come back tomorrow at 7am. This means that I wake up, go to work, work all day, come home, and go immediately to bed. That's no fun, obviously, and it means I'll be sleep-depped and cranky tomorrow.

My schedule for the next four weeks is out, and it also sucks. I'm all over the place, nights and days and evenings. I'm working a lot of 5-day weeks, which I dislike; I must prefer to worker longer days and have more days off. And because the schedule was put out yesterday, most of the overtime openings already got snagged -- so money's gonna be tight for a while.

I envy people who actually are able to save money for nice things.

This morning I woke up to someone moving in to the apartment above me. I'm trying to keep an open mind, but historically these things haven't gone well. Fingers crossed for me!

Meanwhile, I left my lunch in the car. Dammit. I'm such a goddamn idiot in the morning. At least I remember my cell phone..

Which I need to schedule a follow-up appointment from my root canal two days ago! Yeah, life is peachy.

For the most part I like my job, but I think I need a sign that says "Messenger: Please Shoot."

My schedule for today was written like this:

11-7 M
7-11 E

What that means, roughly translated, is that I work 11-7 in one part of the emergency room, and 7-11 in another.

What it clearly does not say, you note, is that the 11-7 is PM to AM.

Who the fuck writes in reverse chronological order? Who puts 7-11p AFTER 11p-7a?! Who the fuck thinks they're funny? Someone is getting an ANGRY, ANGRY e-mail about this.

This day was going so well! But now I have to work 8 hours with the least competent and most obnoxious of all my co-workers. Dammit.

They're... communicating with a patient who only speaks Spanish by means of a translation website.

I love my job, and I love the Information Age.

RAAAAAAH!

Why the hell must every single department in this hospital be incompetent except for us? Give us our damn beds, stop fucking up our computer system, and let us do our damn jobs!

Notice! I am working until 3 or 3:30 am tonight, instead of my original time of 11p. There was a call off and I volunteered to pitch in for half the shift. readnofurther, I know this interferes with that scene we have to do, for which I sincerely apologize. tigerphoenix, please feel free to call me or anything if you need support. I know having your family there is rough for you, and I'm sorry I can't be more supportive or helpful. I need the money!

Again, I'm really very sorry for this. Those of you this affects, I apologize... I'm sorry.

Today was a reasonably good day at work. I made some boneheaded screw-ups, but that was bound to happen sooner or later, and really it didn't end up too bad. A bit scary: I'm going to be through with orientation starting next Friday, and working on my own. Eeep.

Better news: They expect me to be an evening person, and working any hours outside of 7A-3P results in getting 55 cents extra per hour. No complaints here on that. Plus I like working evenings. 11A-11P? I like that shift!

Here's my schedule for the next two weeks:

Sun: 7A - 3:30P
Mon: 11A - 7:30P
Tue: 7A - 3:30P
Wed: Off
Thu: 7A-11A (Yeah, only four hours...)
Fri: 11A-11:30P
Sat: Off
Sun: Off
Mon: Off
Tues: 9A - 9:30P
Wed: 9A - 9:30P
Thu: 9A - 9:30P
Fri: 7P - 11P (Four hours again!)
Sat: Off

I better post this before I forget.

I will soon have a new job!