You might be putting too much effort into it. People play games for fun and generally take an out of sight, out of mind approach to their entertainment. If someone quit the game or just dropped out of sight, their online friends would wonder what happened to them for a few weeks, and then promptly forget they ever existed, unless they're friends IRL or something.

Everyone has different expectations of what their level of commitment is to the game or their social groups within it. It sounds like your guildies have a slightly lesser degree of commitment than you do. It may be less frustrating for you if you left them to their own devices more often.

Like I said to isis, it's really the fact that he went after me when I'd been doing the exact opposite of what he said. That stung on a personal level, even though I rationally know he was just being a hurt-butt baby about it.

My guildies are pretty committed, actually, it's the organization they fail spectacularly at. ^.^ I'm the only one who seems able to point them all in the same direction in the broad sense (and tigerphoenix in the narrow...)

You shouldn't really take it personally. The problem with online communication is that it lacks all of the nuance of expression. What you may have intended as helpful advice, he may take as criticism, etc.

The part about responsibility is this: what do you go into the game expecting out of your peers? There are no hard and fast rules on what to expect out of a guild. Some guilds are friendly and carebear and helpful. Others are goal oriented like raiding or PVP where you're expected to pull your own weight leveling wise and only participate when you're sufficiently geared.

If your guildmate is accusing you of being critical and unhelpful, what has he done to help other people? Why does he feel entitled to help and coddling from you?

And it's not just in a material sense either. Some players don't want advice on how to improve their playing. They may not even care, and that's perfectly valid if it's how they want to play. It's a game, after all, not a job. But then they shouldn't expect other people to hold their hand or make up for their deficiencies when grouping either.