tigerphoenix is about midway through her visit to her family, and to my surprise I'm going crazy from the fact. Normally I'm able to just plug on with my routine and ignore these gaps, or capitalize them -- I completely rearranged my desk and computer setup because I didn't have a good reason to sit online and not do it, for example -- but something about this one is different. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's just because our phone calls have been low energy, or problems we have to deal with, but her missing is registering to my gut as "Something is horribly, horribly wrong with the world."

Hon, if you ever think I don't miss you, you're wrong. I've always been of the mindset to just keep going, and not let things like that get to me. I don't think you'd appreciate it if I sat around moping and miserable because you were gone. But I miss you, when you're not around. I really do.

I wish I was better at expressing myself. Actually, I wish I didn't have to express myself so often in the form of pure text. I suppose that's irony, because I'm a writer, and this should be my specialty. And I don't think I'm terrible at it. As a writer, though, I'm writing entirely under my own power, in a world I control. Writing to communicate with others, though, I'm trying to write about a world in which I'm one tiny little cog, and I really have no control to speak of.

If I had any control over it, the woman I love wouldn't be far away, lonely, and upset.

On an unrelated note... I forgot what I was going to say. The perils of posting at work.