I've made one sale this week, out of a total of two days working. From that sale I've made approximately $160.

Not bad. Not enough. If I don't make a few more sales this week, I'm in deep financial doo-doo. I have three more days left in the field, although the quality of those days depends on how many people I can see. If I make three more sales at about the same level, then my worries are over, I'll have made enough money to get by this month (presuming I DO make some more sales in the next weeks). If not, it's still panic-time.

I still can't make my rent this month. If I can't, well... means I can't make any of my other bills either. If that happens, I think I'll find myself in the uncomfortable situation of having to move back home and freeload off my parents until I figure out just how I fucked my life up so badly. Not that it's a bad thing that I have parents who'd be willing to help me out, but damn, talk about making a failure out of myself. I can't see much advantage to the situation, since I don't know how I'd ever recover from the massive damage to ego and self-esteem. I'm supposed to be a mature, independant adult. I should be able to provide for myself and take care of myself.

But evidently I can't. Or at least, maybe I can't. We'll see how it goes, I guess.

My license is in. My schedule's being set. Tomorrow, I go out to try and make my first sales.

Wish me luck, guys. If I don't make money ASAP, I'm *fucked*.

So work is going interestingly well. Currently, I have completed all of my training requirements, and I'm only waiting for my license to load -- in other words, for the state of PA to approve my application and recognize me as a licensed insurance producer in the state. In the meantime, I'm continuing to go out with my SA (supvervising agent) on her schedule and watch her work. I've observed five sales or so, so far. I'm hoping to average that a week. Wish me luck on that. If this doesn't pan out, well, I'm screwed.

But I feel pretty good about this. Actually, I feel pretty good in general lately. I've been doing some thinking, as well -- the act of calling people to set up appointments has got this going in my brain. People who have to deal with people every day -- be it on the phone, in person, whatever -- have a pretty unfortunate job. Most people are, quite frankly, rude or at least zombie-like in the motions of daily activity. I can't begin to say how many times people have just rudely grunted at me, or hung up on me with a curt "Not here". And you look at someone working, say, a cash register, or a fast food place, and realize that most people just see them as a machine, not a living being. Read customers_suck if you don't believe me. So I'm making an effort, lately, to be cheerful to these people. Give them sincere smiles and sincere answers to "How are you doing" or even "Hello." Maybe it's egotistical of me, but I think they appreciate it.

The other day, my SA and I ended up at the wrong place -- it was actually the right place, the customer had just given us his *mailing* address instead of his home address, the bastard -- and we encountered cats. Lots of cats, including one kitten that was barely old enough to be away from her (we think it was a her) mother. And there was never a more playful kitten upon heaven or earth. So friendly, rubbing up against us, letting us pick her up. The woman said that she had too many cats, so she was putting her outside at night and so forth. My SA, who is a great person, ended up taking the kitten with us, so she could give her a good home. Of course, riding in the car with the kitten was a trip, because she was all *over* us. She walked circles around my head -- across my back to my right shoulder, around my front to my left shoulder, tickling me all the while till I was laughing helplessly. And playbiting my neck. Ow. Eventually, we made a bed for her out of a jacket in the back seat, and she slept for hours afterwards. It was a good time.

The night after that, I was driving on route 286 in PA -- a narrow, windy, deserted route through wilderness, basically. It was fun, with the lights on, pretending I was the only person left on Earth. Quiet and creepy. Very nice.

Anything more anyone wants to know about?

My insurance presentation is 19 pages long. Nineteen pages which it is necessary for me to memorize verbatim. I'm between 1/4 and 1/3 done. Saturday and Sunday are gonna be mostly devoted to memorization.

I can be good at this. I will be good at this. Getting there is just going to be a rough ride...

And the great adventures of me continue.

I've gotten a job working for American Income Life -- selling insurance. It's been an interesting time just getting ready. So far I've been through licensing classes (so boring) and licensing examination (I passed!). I thought my training was supposed to begin yesterday, but that was a bureaucratic error, so I got ready and woke up early for nothing. Rrrrr, angry. But my license application is in the mail, after a rough adventure in which I got caught in traffic repeatedly and miserably.

This week has just not been going well.