So it turns out virtually every battle quote in the game has a disturbing component of innuendo. Say, siliconrose, or anyone else who hasn't played the game -- avoid this. It contains spoilers (for both the game and innocence...)



phoenix760: FF10: Naughty Yuna. The girls have a slumber party and you're invited.
Phoenix760: A future sequel down the line
Phoenix760: Keep sales up.
Dragonoflife: *I'd* buy it.
Dragonoflife: Not for Yuna, admittedly.
Phoenix760: That would make for an interesting role playing game.
Dragonoflife: The new Vanish-X Zone combo equivalent: Alcohol-Strip Poker.
Phoenix760: Actually they should do a game like that. It would be a big hit.
Phoenix760: Think of all the different status attacks...
Dragonoflife: But it gives entirely new and disturbing meaning to the negative status: Virus.
Phoenix760: Yeah...*shudders*
Phoenix760: The ultimate attack would be: PREGNANCY
Dragonoflife: Really? I would have figured it would be "Auron Arrives."
Phoenix760: "Hn, This's how it's done."
Dragonoflife: "Damn your inexplicable charisma!"
Phoenix760: *unzip*
Dragonoflife: ::sword strike sound effect::
Phoenix760: "So, who next, I forsee no difficulty."
Dragonoflife: "Pace yourself, Auron!"
Phoenix760: "As you wish..."
Dragonoflife: "No time to waste. Let's go."
Phoenix760: "So, who next?"
Dragonoflife: You used that one already. ^.^
Phoenix760: "I must be rusty."
Dragonoflife: "Enough!"
Phoenix760: Rikku: "If you say so."
Dragonoflife: Lulu: "So, how shall we do this?"
Phoenix760: Rikku: "What should I do?"
Phoenix760: Yuna: "I'm ready."
Dragonoflife: Rikku: "Talk about a hard-head!"
Phoenix760: Yuna: "Let them come."
Dragonoflife: Rikku: "Wow! Say, is that edible?"
Phoenix760: Auron: "So be it."
Dragonoflife: Rikku: "Ooooh... I thought I was gonna die."
Phoenix760: Lulu: "Don't look so shocked"
Dragonoflife: Wakka: "It's gonna hurt. Go, Blitzball, go!"
Phoenix760: Kimahri: "Haaargh!"
Dragonoflife: Wakka: "I'm not done yet! C'mon!"
Phoenix760: Tidus: "My turn, now!"
Dragonoflife: Wakka: "They're sure keeping us busy!"
Auron: "Better than freezing to death."
Phoenix760: Lul: "I hope you like it hot."
Dragonoflife: Wakka: "Lu, I'll show you what I can do!"
Lulu: "Go ahead."
Phoenix760: Wakka: "It's gonna hurt."
Dragonoflife: Lulu: "Don't strain yourself."
Yuna: "All right."
Phoenix760: Yuna: "Father...Give me strength."
Dragonoflife: Tidus: "You wanna rest?"
Yuna: "I'll be okay."
Phoenix760: Tidus: "Too late to beg for mercy!"
Dragonoflife: Yuna: "It is an honor, Sir Auron."
Auron: "Thanks."
Phoenix760: Lulu: Are you alright?
Auron: I must be out of practice.
Dragonoflife: Tidus: "Let's end this quickly."
Phoenix760: Rikku: "Ta-Dah"
Dragonoflife: Wakka: "This is new for you, ya?"
Tidus: "What do you think?"
Phoenix760: This is so messed up, but you know, who knows what they do when they sleep in a hotel.
Dragonoflife: Listen to a nice tune for five seconds and pick someone to snore.
Phoenix760: That wouldn't exactly relieve any stress now would it.
Dragonoflife: The males are each unattractive in their own ways, however.
Phoenix760: Everyday, fighting for your lives. Pretty miserable place to live in and with the way people are killed off...
Phoenix760: Not all of the girls are good either.
Phoenix760: Ms. Innocent, Ms. Grumpy and Ms. Caffeine.
Phoenix760: although I bet seymour never gets laid.
Dragonoflife: True, but their personality flaws are much more overlookable by the males.
Phoenix760: Mr. Prejudice, Mr. Furry, Mr. Dead and Mr. Fluff for Brains.
Dragonoflife: And Mr. I'm Only In The Party For One Token Battle.
Phoenix760: Heheh, unfortunately I get to choose from the more dysfunctional group. you just have to worry about demeanors. Mine have deeper problems.
Dragonoflife: And the girls make up for it so much better.
Phoenix760: I'd probably kill Wakka ... Tidus is so self-absorbed ... Seymours fingers alone would creep me out, let alone his personality ... I think Kimahri falls under beastiality ... and Auron, he's dead.
Dragonoflife: That leaves... Rin.
Phoenix760: ...Great. I should get items relatively cheap....
Phoenix760: Eh, I'll take Auron. He may be older, dead and missing an eye, but at least he once existed.
Dragonoflife: Don't write off the Aurochs yet!
Phoenix760: "I'll take Keepa!!" *Sharp spike in the sarcasm meter*
Phoenix760: I see you going for Rikku.
Dragonoflife: Whyfor?
Phoenix760: The least amount of baggage.
Dragonoflife: Feh. I'm all about the baggage.
Dragonoflife: I like Lulu. But on the other hand, Rikku has legs. It's a hard choice.
Phoenix760: Then Yuna, she's got the most.
Phoenix760: Gonna travel the world and die.
Phoenix760: sounds like fun.
Dragonoflife: Lulu's is gonna travel the world and watch a friend die, assuming I don't screw up like I did the first two times.
Phoenix760: Lulu has got the whole widow baggage, but is very well-endowed.
Dragonoflife: True, although the leather straps are a bit disturbing.
Phoenix760: Yeah, she might be a bit of a dominatrix
Dragonoflife: And no one would be sure until it was too late.
Phoenix760: Beat you with her stuffed animals. Be careful of the cactuar.
Dragonoflife: "Ha ha! It's just a little cactaur, what harm could it -- Deathstrike? Nuts."
Phoenix760: Rather literally, especially the last part.
Dragonoflife: Okay... if someone in the Final Fantasy world got it on with someone at 0 hitpoints, does it count as necrophilia?
Phoenix760: It depends if they're dead or just comatose.
Dragonoflife: So only if it's outside of battle.
Phoenix760: I'd say it's more like comatose, because there are many characters outside the main players who die and can't be brought back. The big question is would it be necrophilia if someone got with Auron? Also would it be a wet dream if someone got with Tidus?
Dragonoflife: Well, that begs the question of, do the unsent actually have bodies, or are they just images? Can they undress, or are they stuck in that form?
Phoenix760: Ahh...was Seymour killed prior to his attempted marriage to Yuna?
Phoenix760: He was wearing a different outfit for the marriage.
Dragonoflife: Ah yes. But it was long and flowing, if I recall correctly. He could have been wearing it over his other clothes.
Dragonoflife: You really have to wonder why Seymour was really marrying Yuna, considering how much her wedding dress showed...
Phoenix760: For her social status of course....
Dragonoflife: I suppose the legs were just a side benefit.
Phoenix760: An unexpected development.
Phoenix760: Afterall, Yevon, the Catholic church. Same sort of deal.
Phoenix760: Only no little boys, just little girls.
Dragonoflife: I guess dead people are more heterosexual.
Phoenix760: I don't know, you'd have to ask Yunalesca about that.
Dragonoflife: True, normally it's not the almost-naked girl who turns out the be the tentacle monster.
Phoenix760: You know the Farplane doesn't look like a lot of fun anyway. Seems more like what the ghostbusters use. Sort of like taking away dead peoples' rights.
Dragonoflife: I don't know, the white-water rafting must be pretty good.
Phoenix760: Maybe for vacation, but I don't know how much fun playing blitzball would be if you're basically a floating lightbulb.
Dragonoflife: Makes you hard to tackle.
Phoenix760: Keep banging up against the sides of the tank in the arena because you have no eyes.
Dragonoflife: No, you go right out. Remember the opening FMV?
Phoenix760: Living people coming in and talking to you, but you have to stand there and smile. You're really saying "I was in the middle of floating around aimlessly, dragged here by your will, just for you to ask me about my secret family recipe for spaghetti and where do babies come from?? Go away...no,... smile nicely, smile nicely."
Dragonoflife: I figured they just had a projector and some fog, like in three quarters of all Scooby Doo episode.
Dragonoflife: "Wait, this isn't Sin at all! It's... a mask!"
::removes it::
"GASP! Maester Seymour!"
"And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids! And that pesky Aeon!"
"Rabby vabby varifor!"
Phoenix760: Heheh, ruh roh.
Phoenix760: If I were a floating soul, I would harass people. Like sneak into their rooms at night and wake them up with my glowing.. Make sure they're not a summoner though.
Dragonoflife: It must suck to be a pyrefly that gets stuck into a crappy fiend. I'd want at least to be in a boss.
Phoenix760: Like the first wolf one.
Phoenix760: at least you wouldn't be stuck there for long.
Dragonoflife: After the beginning of the game, yeah you would. Forever!
Phoenix760: Since people no longer follow Yevon, because it's all corrupt and what not. Also Sin is gone for good. What happens with the Farplane?
Dragonoflife: It's now a vacation resort. Guadosalam is a tourist town,
Phoenix760: rin should be happy.
Dragonoflife: Bah, the Guados are price-fixers who conspire to run him out of business!
Phoenix760: That's okay, they sorta live in a hole anyway.
Dragonoflife: And it devolved into a vicious war between the airship's missiles and the Guado Cannon.
Dragonoflife: I want to save this conversation and post some of the really funny stuff.
Phoenix760: Hey, at least humans weren't involved for once.
Phoenix760: Go for it.