Having resurrected the former-paladin-former-avatar-of-the-Gorgon, the group has now gathered to discuss what to do...

DM: The paladin is incredibly remorseful. "I was controlled, but I allowed myself to be controlled."
Aibghalien: "Don't worry, we've all done worse.... don't ask!"

Diligently, Saikon attempts to proselytize and sway the paladin to atoning and serving his own god instead of his former one. Aibghalien nudhes Rhuann.

Aibghalien: Watch this... So when do we get experience for last game?
DM: (having specifically given out experience at the end of the last session, glares)
Wes: We got experience from the last game! A decent amount, not like the pittance you give us! "You slew eighty demons, you get six hundred experience!"
Aibghalien: I used the tables in the book!
Wes: Those tables are broken!
Rhuann: You'd know all about broken tables.
Wes: (Stunned, either at the profound truth of the statement or the fact that Rhuann'd just scored from metaphorical half-court)
Aibghalien: And now I will perform the worst idea of the night. (holding up a candy) Whopper. (Promptly dipping said candy in hummus, than eating it)
Devlyn: Oh my god!
Wes: Why would you DO that?!
Aibghalien: (face contorted in horror or pain or both) Oh god! It was a bad Whopper too!

Dragged back to the game by heroic force, the players spend some time hashing out exactly what the status of the lands and armies down south is. Aibghalien sends Wes to negotiate with the other leaders, while taking some time himself to study the odd magics of the land.

Devyln: You're sending... him?
Wes: Hey, he knows I get quick results.
Aibghalien: Check this out: I've just bought a magic item that gives me permanent dramatic wind.
Saikon: Dramatic wind?
Devlyn: Like a breeze that makes his hair and cloak billow, you know?
Aibghalien: (pointing to a picture he'd drawn ages ago, of Aibghalien's hair being blow dramatically by a large fan) Like this, only without the fan.
Rhuann: More like this dramatic wind! (sketching in three broad strokes a posterior emitting gas)
Aibghalien: (pummels Rhuann)

The DM starts delineating the status of many lands around the south and running north.

DM: ... the Mhoried was one of the first to fall. The Gorgon crushed it right after the goblins of Markazor.
Saikon: But the goblins are allies of the Gorgon.
DM: Not here they weren't.
Saikon: Oooh, they rebelled. Interesting.
DM: Yeah, the rebellion didn't last long.

Debating what to destroy next, the party begins gathering information on the forces available to them.

DM: ...and there's a superdemon here.
Saikon: But that army is huge.
DM: That army is the combined forces of all the countries and rulers down south. The number of actual units the leader has under his control is far smaller. Besides, they're still outgunned. Though a small party and a wizard could handle it, an army's not so useful.
Aibghalien: D&D summed up in a sentence!
DM: That never made sense to me! "Sir, there's a giant monster at the gate! Shall we send the army?"
Devlyn: "No, send those five guys!"
DM: "Anyway, when it comes to the demons, we're not sure about the... developments in that area."
Aibghalien: Are the demons going through puberty?
DM: ...They could be! I don't know much about the demon lifecycle...
Devlyn: Once every hundred years, a ball drops.
Aibghalien: Devlyn, we're sending you on a mission, as usual. Infiltrate the demon lingerie shop and report on how they're developing.

While Wes and Devlyn work to establish a united front, Aibghalien and Saikon quickly get distracted experimenting with the crystal MCGuffins that Aibghalien's been carrying around all this time. To his utter glee, Aibghalien discovers that the crystals react entirely differently with divine magic, creating a self-recharging spell completion item. Hurriedly running some calculations while Saikon still experiments with purifying weapons, he interrupts.

Aibghalien: Saikon I'm giving you two medium crystals I want you to fill one with one Cure Serious Wounds two Protection from Elements two Bull's Strength --
Devlyn: He's not going to remember this, you know.
Saikon: Umm, what was I casting again?
Aibghalien: (sighing, and going slower) One Cure Serious Wounds, two Protection from Elements, two Bull's Strength...
Wes: GOT IT?!
Aibghalien: There, that fills the crystal perfectly, and now both Devlyn and Rhuann have a complete before-battle buff set for two people plus some heals. And that's all I care to abuse the system for today -- wait, purify Wes's evil Manslayer sword!
DM: Okay, you break three crystals over it, and it becomes purified. Wes, all you hear in your head is a scream which trails off and becomes fainter.
Aibghalien: Oooh, I'm just solving all sorts of problems today!

The experimentation ends in an awesome display of a thrown hammer firing a Searing Ray in a whirling circle as it discharges it while being thrown. Aibghalien briefly refuses to go on, claiming that nothing could possibly top that.

Aibghalien: "The worst part is that I'm going to tell all this to Golbez and he'll be all, 'Oh, I knew that all along.'"
DM: Golbez has been with you the entire time. "This is all news to me! I never studied it! I've never had a chance to experiment with divine magic, since I came from the future and all--"
Aibghalien: "Future?"
DM: (realizes he used the wrong word)
Aibghalien: "I'VE FOUND OUT YOUR SECRET, TIME-TRAVELLER!"
DM: (blank for a moment, then makes a gesture as if removing a mask)
Aibghalien: KAEL'THAS "DOC BROWN" SUNSTRIDER?!
Wes: So how are you going to describe this all in the game report? "They screwed around with crystals for two and a half hours?"
Devlyn: Ha ha, check out this magic item! Stenchstone! It smells of rotten meat!
Wes: We're gonna load up the bag of boulders so they all become stenchstones!
DM: I can see that now. You throw a rock at someone, and it explodes! The smell of rotten babies and--
Wes: Rotten --
Aibghalien: Babies?!

As the party had, literally, screwed around with crystals for two hours, the DM deferred their next adventure until the next session, and so the game ended with that particular image nice and fresh in everyone's head...