With a fleet of ships bearing down on their western coast, the heroes elect to intercept said fleet and demolish it as vigorously as possible. Aibghalien, recognizing that a fatality is possible on this mission -- as the enemies use things like guns, missiles, and cannons -- insists on a moment of time before the PCs take action.

Aibghalien: "...so I think we should take a moment to discuss what will happen if one of us should die without a chance of resurrection."
Devlyn: You should become a lich.
Aibghalien: Yeah, that's totally in keeping with my motivations here.
DM: (having an entirely different conversation) So is that how it works?
Aibghalien: What?

Failing to stay on track, the players begin discussing the other campaign -- specifically, the nature of the aid being offered by the demon they faced. The DM of that campaign clarifies that the demon would stop time for them, suspending them for long enough to heal and regain spells.

DM: Wouldn't it be hilarious if he screwed up the spell, and, like, 92 years passed outside, while inside it was only three seconds for us?
Devlyn: "Hey, why's this castle so run-down?"
Aibghalien: (in an old man voice) "Hey, you whippersnappers! We can finally have our battle!"
DM: "The Gorgon is dead..."
Aibghalien: "...and the undead guy is pretty much running the place, but I've been holding out, waiting for you! Fireba--aaah my hip!" All your attacks automatically target the hip...

The PCs decide they will purchase a scroll of Wind Walk and use it to intercept the ships.

DM: Wes, you're wearing that suit, right? You could use the jetpack.
Aibghalien: "All right, let's see here. Saikon is on his gryphon... Wes will be using his magical flaming pack... thing..."
DM: The priestess noticably twitches. "Jetpack! It's a jetpack!"
Aibghalien: "It's.. a pack, that shoots fire, so flaming pack--"
DM: "IT'S NOT MAGICAL!" She storms off.
Devlyn: "What's her problem?"
Aibghalien: "I believe she's irritated that we don't employ the proper terminology for items from her lands. Also I think it may be that time of the month."
DM: And that's a Reflex save for you...

Rhuann, being a druid, plans to go in an aquatic form. She grabs the Monster Manual and starts leafing through the back to find something sutiable.

Wes: They call her Flipper, Flipper...
Rhuann: Heeeeey!
Wes: Giant squid, right?
Rhuann: Giant octopus, actually.
Aibghalien: That's lacking a little in subtlety..
Wes: Why bother with spells when you can just crush the ships?!
Aibghalien: It's only Large size. Unless their navy consists entirely of canoes...
Saikon: Be something small they can't detect... like a tuna!

Saikon prepares to cast Wind Walk from the scroll. To cast a spell from a scroll you normally couldn't cast, you must make a relatively simple CL check, difficulty being the spell's CL+1. Saikon will therefor succeed except on a 1 or 2. But he gets...

Saikon: Natural 20!
DM: Oh, let me check this...
Aibghalien: No! 20s are good!
DM: Nope, nope, you're in outer space.
Saikon: ...I descend slightly.
DM: You descend slightly?!
Aibghalien: I cast Elation. Our corpses will tumble through space looking like this. (Aibghalien throws up two thumbs-up with a huge grin.)

Actual gameplay intrudes on the hilarity, however. The PCs take up position above the substantial navy -- then pause, pondering how best to buff before battle.

Aibghalien: Okay, everyone, shift out of wind walk. (The spell allows its subjects to shift into an out of an insubstantial form at will.
Wes: Shift out of it?
Devlyn: (Makes a plummeting motion with his hands)
Aibghalien: Yes, shift out of it... uh, wait.
Devlyn: So is this a "do it" or a "maybe"...?
Aibghalien: Uh, I'm double-checking... one target per level, okay, do it, and, Mass Fly!

The PCs begin to buff. While they do so, the priestess and Golbez take off for the fleet.

Wes: Oh, sure, they go off ahead...
Aibghalien: No, that's good. They're only competent when they're off-camera. Off-camera: "I killed an entire legion by myself." On-camera: "Magic Missile."
Saikon: (rounding off his list of buffs) Aaand Water Walking.
Aibghalien: Whose side are you on?

(Aibghalien is referencing a longtime quirk in World of Warcraft: Water of a certain depth negates all falling damage, but a shamen's Water Walking spell causes it to be treated as solid. Thus malicious shamans can cast the spell on their allies as they jump into water, causing them to take damage and often die.)

The PCs descend rapidly from the sky. The flagships detect them almost instantly and unleash a fusillade of missiles in their direction.

DM: They can't target human-sized targets very well, so you all get a Reflex saving throw. Half if you fail, none if you succeed.
Aibghalien: Don't forget we have protections on. Technically they're non-magic missiles...
Wes: (cracks up)

The PCs roll their saves, all to great effect.

Aibghalien: Natural 20!
Wes: 20, woohoo! I grab that missile out of the air, turn it around, and ride it back down!
Aibghalien: Yeah, right. No, Wes, here's what happened -- we saw the missiles coming and high-fived each other, and the momentum separated us just enough that the missiles passed between us.
Wes: ...awesome.
DM: Okay, what are you all doing?
Aibghalien: I'm casting Hallucinatory Terrain to make as many rocks, icebergs, reefs, whatever appear in positions that will most mess up their navigation. As far as they know I'll have just summoned it all.
Wes: Turn another ship into an iceberg!
Aibghalien: I can't affect things that are there, the spell doesn't work like that.
Wes: Well, make terrain that looks like ships!
Aibghalien: An iceberg made out of ships!

Rhuann, meanwhile, is underwater as a shark -- and prepared to enact the most fiendish part of the PC's plan. She casts Rusting Grasp and begins to touch ships from underwater.

DM: As you bonk the ship...

Wes, meanwhile, charges a ships's captain under FULL JETPACK POWER.

DM: As your fist hits his face, his head explodes! Blood splatters everywhere, splashing over you and the walls around him. His body literally disintegrates into a burst of blood. Every single person who sees this nearby is freaked.
Aibghalien: Morale checks!
DM: No morale checks, they're automatically freaked out by this, running around in a panic! Okay, Devlyn, what do you do?
Devlyn: (shrugging nonchalantly) I land lightly behind him.
Aibghalien: Meanwhile, back in the D&D campaign, not the Exalted campaign where Wes is...

Wes and Devlyn go on a slaughtering spree, annihilating the flagship's crew and much of the flagship itself. Saikon Flame Strikes a missile emplacement, detonating the ammo and causing massive explosions. People fly overboard.

Aibghalien: (making a plummeting gesture with his hand, which ends when he smacks it into the table) "Damn you, water walking!"

Rhuann continues to sink numerous ships with her simple bonk-spell, while Wes's player is distracted by simple magnetism.

Aibghalien: Unicron is going to summon Rhuann for the sake of her shape-shifting abilities. "I have summoned you here for a porpoise..."
Wes: Man, I can't wait for the Magneto origin movie. "I was in the bunker with Hitler... He didn't kill himself, you know. Why do you think they found a bayonet through his mouth... the wrong way?" "Passion of the Hitler." Mel Gibson's latest film.
All: (Horrified groaning)
Saikon: All right, since we've more or less shut down the ships, Saikon is going to draw his hammer and descend into the midst of the men to see if he can figure out what it can do.
DM: You're a lawful good priest, wading into the panicked unresisting men to clobber them so you can find out what your hammer can do --
Saikon: Ah, correction. Lawful NEUTRAL priest. "It is advantageous to destroy them now."

Aibghalien tosses a Maximized Fireball and Quickened Maximized Fireball at the other large ship. The first one blows stuff up good...

DM: Your second fireball doesn't fare as well as the first. A man standing by the tower reaches out his hands as the fireball approaches. He seems to suck up the fireball with his hands.
Aibghalien: Oh great, they have an energy absorption-model android on their side... numbered either 19 or 20.

As a near-unified force, the PCs charge the spell-absorbing figure. Wes and Devlyn reach it directly, and begin to unload massive force on the figure. To their horror, it or its armor is absorbing their attacks and neutralizing some of their strongest advantages.

Saikon: I cast Inflict Critical Wounds. Let's see him absorb *that*! He just bursts an artery!
Rhuann: I bonk the sub.
DM: As the hole opens up, a guy immediately floats out, clutching at his throat. You think you've penetrated the bulkhead.
Rhuann: Can I grab him and haul him to the surface?

The players groan as Rhuann falls headlong into the sympathy ploy

Aibghalien: Yeah, the giant SHARK coming to bite him is definitely an improvement.
DM: He struggles and flails, but you're able to get ahold of his clothing and pull him to the surface.
Devlyn: Aww, I was hoping his ears would burst.
Aibghalien: Yeah, but she still has that spell on. Everything that's metal on him rusts! His belt buckle was metal! It rusts! You've saved his life, but his pants fall off! He comes to the surface in his boxers! Every single person in the battle pauses to point and laugh at him! And now we've got a recurring villain for the next arc.

Wes cleaves not only the robot, but two mooks and a ship's tower in two with a massive crit. Devlyn threatens to go upstairs and get the Exalted book, but the robot is nowhere near defeated. Aibghalien hits it with a Defenestrating Sphere. Saikon asks if anyone needs healing. Devlyn and Wes continue to unload epic amounts of damage onto the robot, only managing to further reduce its armor layers. Aibghalien attempts to trip it with a Grease spell just as its Dexterity skyrockets from losing another layer of armor, and therefore fails. Saikon again asks if anyone needs healing.

Aibghalien: Ah, the inevitable fate of any cleric.
Saikon: Fine then, I cast Sonic Lance on the android.
Aibghalien: Sonic Pants? A solid wave of bass liquefies his gonads!
DM: He seems to enjoy -- uh, be mostly unaffected by the spell...
Aibghalien: Rhuann's still got her spell up...
Wes: Yeah, that'd be great, the shark jumping up here and bonking him.
Rhuann: Wait, is someone jumping the shark?

The robot, stripped to its bare innards or in its final transformation depending on if one is making a DBZ reference or not, leaps at Wes, grappling him and destroying his armor's jetpack.

DM: You both begin to fall.
Wes: I'll aim for the water!
DM: No, you guys were hovering over the deck.
Saikon: Wait, are they all falling?
DM: No, Devlyn was using his fly spell. Wes was using his jetpack, but the robot ceased it.
Aibghalien: Today, 'ceased' became a transitive verb. (Ten seconds of silence.) Ooh, grammar joke doesn't play well with the audience. Wes, you can just fly.
DM: Did you cast the spell on him too?
Aibghalien: I affected ten targets, there was no reason not to!

Wes hurls the robot into the ocean, where it explodes. The last few ships hastily flee -- only four out of about twenty, IIRC, survived. The priestess and Golbez rejoin the group, having destroyed about half the fleet themselves -- off-camera, as Aibghalien quickly notes.

DM: The priestess frowns. "I'm impressed you were able to destroy the robot. They've been known to destroy whole armies by themselves."
Aibghalien: As we hover over a destroyed fleet! Ships sinking, some of them cut in half, sailors frantically drowning in the water by the dozens, a submarine bobbing to the surface before sinking again -- "I wonder what that would be like."
DM: You guys ruined my adventure! I thought it was going to be awesome! I didn't expect you to come up with some magic one-touch ship sinking spell! Aaaaagh!
Wes: We ruined nothing! You experienced the Passion of the Hitler!