As told by Coyote:

So one day way long ago I met the first adventurous tree. Now, the first adventurous tree was slow and boring. I don't know why that is. All adventurous trees are slow and boring, it's like a natural physical law. Anyway, this was back in the days where trees could move, they all moved. That's why the first adventurous tree *was* the first adventurous tree, because it said, "Hey, I'm gonna take root." So it did, and it rocked. The sun was shining, the dirt was good, water was coming up through the roots -- being rooted was easy and cool.

So then I came along, and said, "Hey, that tree can't move!" And I gave it the whizzing of its life.

Follow up to the story! I once met the world's oldest tree. The world's oldest tree, being the world's oldest tree, decided, "Hey, I'm going to take root." So it did, and it rocked. The sun was shining, the dirt was good, water was coming up through the roots -- being rooted was easy and cool.

So then I came along, and said, "Hey, that tree can't move!" Walked on up to it, and it dropped the biggest fucking branch ever on my head. I was out for a week.

So the lesson is, when you're young, keep moving around. When you get old enough to drop big fucking branches on people's heads, THEN you can take root.