(no subject)

[dragonoflife]

Well, hell.

There is only one saving grace to being, once again, used, manipulated, lied to, and made a total fool of in relation to roleplaying, and that is the fact that this time it was me who took the brunt of it rather than my tigerphoenix. And because it wasn't the fault of the person who got us involved in the mess, I think it's feasible for both of us to forgive her and move past it.

Still, once again I've let my good nature, my empathy, and my desire for peace be used to make me defend someone who didn't deserve it. I fought for something I believed -- only to find out that all my cynicism, all my suspicion, is ultimately what I should have listened to.

Hypocrisy. Manipulation. Outright spite. You know, it hurts? It really hurts the people that have all this done to them. Myself more than most, I think, simply because I'm fire-aligned. I have far more passion, more emotion, for things than most people do.

I don't know. I shouldn't be trying to express this, because it can't be expressed in words. At least this time we got stabbed in the back by a relatively distant person.

Comments

Re: RESPONSE pt. 2

[chaselemonde.livejournal.com]

As for forcing you into this roleplay? Um, did it EVER occur to you that people can STILL interact with a person when they can't make physical contact with them? Once Anya's player FINALLY started toning it down recently, she was very pleasant to be around, she wasn't dying, she wasn't any of these things, she was simply there, and a terrific source of intellectual stimulation and interaction. Do not blame me if your characters have developed to the point where they can't enjoy a person's company simply because they're there. I say this because I have HAD friends who I could not touch, could not go near, due to severe health problems. I didn't have this gut-wrenching feeling of watching someone I care about die, because they weren't dying. I just simply couldn't physically interact with them because I ran the risk of infecting them with otherwise benign germs that would have ravaged them. So again, I DID NOT force you into playing anything, you engaged in it entirely of your own free wills, and it was YOU that decided it had to be one extreme or the other, not me. If you felt deprived of fun as a result of this, then I am sorry, but that did not have to be, and I find it amazing that you hold to the idea that it was simply so miserable a situation when there were others who were able to interact with her perfectly well and enjoy her company without getting all weepy over her plight.

About the "second-hand promises"... again, I had been waiting for the ball to go into play just as long as you have, sans about two weeks. You do the math from there, I'm not going to appologize for what I'd been waiting for as well.

And now comes the personal part... we're in agreement, we don't like each other. But from your last paragraph, I would take it to mean that you hold some measure of respect for me as well. Whether I like you or not, that measure of respect is greatly appreciated. I have endeavored to have my characters interact with yours in a friendly manner and not biased by personal dislike in respect to you, and from what I have seen, you've done the same for me, save instances on both our parts where our characters have given each other's reason to be upset. Despite our differences and distaste for one another, I intend to continue to pay you respect. I respect people willing to stand toe-to-toe with me and "let me have it." So let's hope these two dragons can at least find a way to co-exist.