They get on with the ceremony. They get on with the roleplaying. The transcriber is shamed and shunned. It is the 20 Years Later game, and the group has just finished clearing out the Orsovo manor.

DM: And so with your doppelganger in tow, you set off. Where to first? I mean… you wanna go to the store with the doppelganger? I don’t know…
Erik: The first place we go is a store that just happens to be run by doppelgangers. The whole place.

The Temple of Skeldric is, perhaps obviously, their destination. They clarify that the doppelganger is unconscious and in its natural form.

Ellerian: Five minutes later: ‘Which one is the REAL Faldoun, oh shit!’

Morzan flicks Bex off for being a butthead, and as they head out of the noble district the guards eye them but do not stop them.

Erik: ‘Have you been to the Cloud District recently?’
C: Nooooo.
Ellerian: Next time I play a game with a circus in it, some random asshole is going to ask if you’ve been to the Clown District lately.
DM: It’s gotta be a really big circus. Like a four ring circus.
Ellerian: The Circus-City of Ellinor.
Erik: CIRCUS CITY? It’s a place of nightmares!
Ellerian: Look, if Disney World is a thing…
DM: The ground is constantly sticky. But from what?
Ellerian: I know what your next adventure is.
DM: You and your circuses!
Erik: I like the first time it showed up. Where nothing bad happened. We just got to see a show, Lorrithrik saw through the disguise, we didn’t…
Ellerian: Look, every campaign, there’ll be giant spiders, wolves eating the DM, and a circus.

They return their badges to the guard at the entrance to the noble district, and head on, except for Ellerian, who returns his badge with Mage Hand and is burned as a witch.

Ellerian: I’m not a witch! That’s an entirely different class in Pathfinder. Arcanist, right there.
Erik: You just look at your paper, it transforms into ‘witch’ before your eyes.
Ellerian: I should not have written this in Acme’s Disappearing-Class Changing Ink.

They head off to the temple of Skeldric, really this time, as Ellerian desperately fights off a brain freeze. Somehow this leads to the group incapacitating him and pumping ice cream directly into his veins to stop him from punning. Into the temple they head!

DM: The sergeant-at-arms, Sergeant Ronask, is at his podium per usual, his great bushy mustache wriggling to and fro.
Ellerian: I would use Mage Hand to put the body on his desk dramatically, but it has a weight limit, so I need you to start cutting five-pound chunks out of that body, and I’ll transport it one at a time…
Morzan: No.
DM: That’s terrible.
Erik: Hold on, you can’t cast that spell a hundred times and move five hundred pounds at a time?
DM: “Ah, Morzan. I see good hunting today.”
Morzan: “You know it.” And I’m holding the doppelganger in front of him, by the scruff of its neck.
DM: “You know where the cells are, you may take it over there.”

Morzan requests another anti-wererat treatment round, and arranges to have the ghouls burned out. She tosses the doppelganger, newly dubbed ‘Yesbix’, into a cell under the watchful eye of the Master of Keys.

Erik: I thought you said ‘Master of Bees’.
DM: ‘I work a double shift here at this barracks. Beekeeper and jailmaster.’

What next? The group debates momentarily, but then runs straight into Faldoun, who asks Morzan for the report , which she succinctly gives. The transcription for this game suffers because half the people are talking significantly more quietly than one person is chewing, but Faldoun drops the nugget of information that Hanzo is coming for the grand opening of the temple as well! Then the DM hastily confirms that Hanzo would do so. They envision Hanzo vs. Barack.

C: Sorry, doesn’t matter what poison he uses, he’s going to save. Only evil people use it, but why is it evil to use something that never works?
Erik: Only Barack can kill another Barack.
Ellerian: Yes, Barack plunged his evil self into a horrible dimension where they battled forever. You know, normally that’s some sort of spiritual mystical thing, in THIS case they were in the other dimension -- (mimes them constantly swinging at each other and missing)
C: It’s like Itchy and Scratchy without the actual contact.
Erik: They miss, they miss, they miss and miss and miss!

Back they head to Edmund Dumas’s office, predicting unpreventable assassinations the entire way. However, Dumas is alive and bids them enter! Encountering his weird, pausing voice the group pauses to contemplate his origins and perform a standard Renfield check. It gets weird.

C: Why are you wet-noodling yourself!?
Ellerian: It wasn’t a wet noddle, my finger went numb from that somehow!
C: That’s why noodles must always be wet before administering this punishment. For the dry noodle is that of death!

Ellerian goes to town on the table with a Twizzler and it sincerely sounds apocalyptic. Even the telepresent players are getting grouchy about the loudness of the snack food…

DM: “Any time to… brush up on old languages…. Is always a good time.” Takes the parchment from you, and pulls out the same volume he had before.
Ellerian: I’m going to attempt to study the book while he’s working from it.
DM: Okay. Are you being subtle or are you being all, ‘mmm!’ over his shoulder.
Ellerian: What is subtle?
DM: You’re an elf…
Ellerian: This is my god-given right!
C: You’re like, you’re peeling to look at a page underneath the one he’s trying to read. ‘Pardon me.’
Ellerian: ‘I’m not done with that page yet.’
DM: I assume you’re not going to be an asshole about it…

Ellerian debates picking up the language, leading to brief conflict about how time should be invested into the learning instead of it just magically popping into his skull when he gains a level. Dumas concludes their document are more lists, likely of people to be assassinated.

DM: “Strange… There are no…. Orsovo or Acheron names on this list at all.”
Erik: Is Aiden on there?
DM: No.
C: ‘He will take care of himself if we give him time.’
DM: The STDs will take effect…
Sable: “Can you tell us anything about the history of the Orsovo manor and why it was abandoned?”
DM: “The Orsovans are a… sullen people… that family always has been. They just felt that… the need to own a house here… was… no longer necessary.”
Sable: “Where IS their home base?”
DM: “The Orsovo province… to the south and east.”
C: “Might that be the reason for the Baroness’s absence?”
DM: “The current regent is… one Vedic Orsovo.”
Ellerian: Now that I have his name… (rolling) He’s dead.
DM: Okay. You have a Death Note…?

The lack of Orsovo is weird, says Dumas, but the lack of Acheron is not – he explains that the Acheron line is dead, and the current Acheron line has taken on the name. Ellerian complains about humans with short lifespans.

DM: “So killing any Acheron family members would be moot.”
Ellerian: So they’re gonna kill the Acherons at the moot, huh?
DM: I see you’re learning common.

Dumas drops another bombshell on them: Faldoun once belonged to the current Acheron family. He grabs another pair of volumes as he explains this.

C: “Wait a minute. How does one leave the family of Acheron?”
DM: “In his case… it was… by choice.”
C: “It was permitted?”
DM: “In that family… apparently so.” He hefts the books onto his workspace, and seemingly at random, he opens it up to a random page, fingering through it. “Ah, here. Roderick and Maylin Acheron. Two sons. Faldoun and Orlon Acheron. The lord and lady have retired… two years ago… giving Orlon control of the province. Though according to family trees… Faldoun is the elder son.” He picks up the slimmer tome and begins thumbing through that one as well. “I took some notes on this… ages ago… when I took a tour… of the provinces.”
C: “Is Faldoun on the list of people to be assassinated?”
DM: “No.”

It seems Faldoun was involved in a skirmish against a cult at the age of 20, and a decision of his cost several lives and he was left for dead. This was his conversion to Skeldricism apparently.

DM: “He tracked down the members of the cult and slew them to the last.”
Ellerian: With brutal torture.
C: What, does Faldoun have the blood of Azrai?
DM: “When he returned home, what transpired between him and his family was not said. But he decided to secede from the family and made his way to the capital here, where he could find others who followed Skeldric, and right wrongs for those who could not do it themselves.”
C: Salute Faldoun as a Confederate from now on, after his successful secession.
Erik: “Quite the goal.”
DM: “A lofty, noble one.”

The group debates how badly aging penalties have hit Faldoun, even as Dumas begins scribbling in a book to translate a note.

DM: “This reads, ‘Lord Restovus, the plans are being carried out, though they are beginning to slow. I believe we will need to relocate soon, as there seems to be some force that has caught on to our deeds. I’ll confer with the puppet as to our new whereabouts. I do not understand your reasoning to using that coward. He will betray us sooner or later. He can shroud himself in darkness all he wants, but he cannot conceal his true self. Harken the Great Prophet. He shall return to the world, to usher in true darknes. Your ever-loyal servant, Meat.’”
C: “Say again?”
DM: “He called himself Meat. A piece of meat.”
Nobix: “Sounds like a lovely guy.”
C: Sounds like a tasty guy.

Dumas dives deep into his study, as the group makes low-effort jokes about the name ‘Restovus’. That family is an old one from the Orsovo province, mine-holders who were thought to have died out even before the rebellion. The name was lost by marriage and death, but some of the group believe that with necromancy afoot, it could be a real scion of the line. They all desire to meet Meat.

Ellerian: “And a puppet.”
C: A meat puppet?
DM: “There seems to be at least one other who’s calling the shots.”
Ellerian: “Hiding himself in the shadows, it seem this would imply he is the master of the assassins.”
Sable: “Where did they say they were moving their base?”
DM: “It did not say where. It was saying there was a need to do so.”

The group fixes on the doppelganger as their lead, believing it has information they need to get out of it. They debate which of them should interrogate the doppelganger – charms won’t work, Ellerian can’t talk to the guy, but C has a good Intimidate. Dumas gives Sable a history of Orsovo as a loan.

Ellerian: Well, now we know the first scene that occurs in this campaign’s epilogue.
Nobix: ‘Oh shoot! We have to return this library book or we have to pay the library fees?’
C: This guy is the final boss of the campaign?
Ellerian: No, epilogue!
C: Oh, okay. He’s the DLC boss.
DM: He hangs himself.
C: Nooooo!
DM: It’s all on you, Sable!
Bex: If the doppelganger didn’t see me, I’d offer to disguise myself and go in and try to get information.
Ellerian: He’s in the jail! How would that work?!
Bex: I got caught and put in there myself?
Ellerian: Oh, yeah, that’s actually a little better than I thought you were implying.

The DM confirms for Ellerian that doppelangers are too unnatural for some spells.

Ellerian: There we go, Charm Person won’t work on it, it’s not a person. And since it’s not a person, anything we do to it is good and legal!
Nobix: It says ‘monstrous humanoid’ if I’m looking at it right.
Ellerian: I don’t have any proof of that.
Erik: “We still should not break the law. You only destroy your own…”
DM: ‘The only people I know of are elves.’ I mean everybody else here is just a talking blip in time.
Ellerian: There’s motes of dust and then there’s me.
DM: The Egoist.
Erik: How old can elves get?
DM: They are immortal. In my world.
Ellerian: Oh. Okay. I’m glad I know that now. This diminishes my ideas of having my character achieve eternal life.
C: You could X out ‘immortal’ and write in ‘ascend to godhood’. Just as evil.
DM: I made a his goals even loftier.
Ellerian: No, no, in a good way! I’m not Raistling it up here.
C: I dunno, most of the intelligent mage types you play strike me exactly the way Raistlin does! Just without the ‘fuck you, twin brother!’. Or the asides where you’re like, ‘oh, I may betray you and kill you all!’
DM: Sucking the souls out of dead bodies.
C: Well, Raistlin has never done that, to my knowledge.
Ellerian: No, it’s life force. It’s really more of an Azalin thing than a Raistlin thing here. I’m not certain that comparison is favorable to me, but nevertheless.
DM: One of the worst liches in history…
Ellerian: Look, he also did OTHER bad things. I’m doing GOOD things.
DM: Mortal enemy of Strahd von Zarovich.
Ellerian: Yeah, he sure only had one of those, didn’t he.
C: I’m sure your neutral mentality will win out in the end.
Ellerian: I have good ends, and to do that I rip the life force out of dying bodies.

Ellerian brandishes a Cheeto and declares it never prospers, crushing the souls of literally everyone present. They drink strychnine.

Erik: It’s the cure for Ellerian.
DM: Get your ice cream.
Ellerian: I DID kill the game.
DM: Congratulations, Ellerian, you screeched it to a halt.

Dessert is distributed and Ellerian is accused of dabbing, to his absolutely fury. The DM tries to restart the game over the group mocking Ellerian about Prestidigitation, and the group restates what they have learned: there is a puppet! They apparently flip Dumas off and take off?

Ellerian: Did you hear the ninjas under Shredder opened an orchard?
DM: I hate you so much—
Ellerian: Yeah, they offer Fruit by the Foot now.
DM: (laughing, to his own shame) I actually kind of like that one.
C: Yeah. I can’t hate that.
DM: I hate myself a little.

Dumas courteously gives Ellerian the book on translation, so he can learn the language. Nobix tries to get Elven for Dummies.

Erik: I want there to be a revelation later that Elven is just a variation on Common. Common’s the older language and Elven’s just a bastardized language.
DM: In my world, Elven is just Pig Latin.

They propose different incredibly thick accents that Elvish actually is and Ellerian begins hosting the Hydraulic Press Channel. A weird diversion occurs in which the elven mage Levi creates a Frankenstein’s monster with zippers.

Ellerian: “I have no fear of this doppelganger any further. Obviously we have the methods at our disposal to easily handle its deceptions.”
Sable: Sable watches Ellerian warily at this. She knows what he tried last time.
Morzan: I just look long-suffering.
Ellerian: I BELIEVE what you meant to say was ‘thank you’.

A bizarre argument erupts over whether Morzan would or did ever buy Ellerian shelled sunflower seed. The DM calls for Perception checks. Sable gets a 3.

DM: Most of you suddenly hear a ‘pssst!’ coming from a shadowy alleyway.
Ellerian: Was it in Common or Elven?
DM: Both.
Ellerian: (mimes his head exploding)

Sable walks into Morzan. No one responds.

Erik: Nobody here – like, “I don’t talk to strangers!”, move on.
Ellerian: I look that way.
DM: You see an alleyway.
Ellerian: I remember this from Plansecape: Torment. We gotta help this alleyway give birth, guys.
Morzan: What?!
Bex: What?
Morzan: Bex, you were right. I should have brought alcohol down here.
Ellerian: Come on, DM, you’re with me on this one…
DM: It SOUNDS familiar…

Erik badgers Ellerian about his deep sighs and large bites. They see a glint of gold in the alleyway. Morzan spots a bowler and runs, so they assume combat is erupting and begin raining spells into the alleyway. It is indeed Mr. Bowler, grinning their way.

Sable: “Hey, I know you!”
DM: Standing behind him, though, are also several figures, cloaked and hooded.
Sable: Very inconspicuously, the group of adventurers armed to the teeth ducks into the alleyway.
Ellerian: He’s going to knock us out and take our clothes to get into the temple of Skeldric.

Mr. Bowler greets them and Sable immediately thanks him for help back in the day; Bowler has a message for her!

DM: “I want to bring it to your attention that your mother is alive and well.”
Sable: “That’s good news. I heard there was an escape tunnel but I never knew she was able to use it.”
Ellerian: Yeah, there used to be a sect down there so she repurposed it.
DM: “She’s now residing with us in a secure location. She has found a new purposes in life, if you will.”
Ellerian: ‘Being a hostage. Start the payments, Sable.’
Erik: ‘It will require exactly 100% of your party’s gold.’
Sable: “Can I see her? Or write to her?”
C: You could if you weren’t out of gold!
Erik: Yes, it only costs 2 gold.
Ellerian: You can start by seeing this finger of hers…

Sable tries to arrange a real visit, but that would be problematic at the time. The rest of the PCs hint strongly that maybe she should tell him who this guy is.

DM: Does anybody have Knowledge(local)?
Ellerian: HA!
DM: I wasn’t asking you.
Ellerian: You said ‘anybody’!
DM: But I was excluding you. You should have known I was excluding you.
Ellerian: I see how it is. I should know I’m excluded ‘cuz I’m me.

Some rolling identifies the Thieves’ Guild, and much mockery of the bowler ensues. C in particular questions what a bowler is doing outside of the steampunk genre.

DM: You all stare awkwardly at one another, and eventually—
Ellerian: I was waiting for an explanation from Sable, thank you!
Sable: Sable gladly explains if asked, but she generally doesn’t volunteer too much.
Ellerian: I DID ASK!
Sable: “Oh! Well, you see, mom made some friends back in the day from when she wasn’t running the bakery, but she was kind of adventuring…”

Sable rambles, boring Ellerian to tears. Erik questions who gives daggers for a kid’s birthday, leading Sable’s player to ramble and compare Soviet Russia to fantasy feudal-faux-Europe. The DM finally narrates them back to the barracks of Skeldric, which they would never reach otherwise, and they start preparing Plan Bex Disguise. Some debate erupts over how Bex should disguise himself. He tries to go for wererat, but wererats are Medium.

Bex: What if I could – maybe I could pass off as a kid.
Morzan: Why would we – no. No, no. That’s not going to work because why would a Skeldran let a kid in here.
C: ‘What are you in for?’
Erik: ‘Being a child!’
C: ‘Being a weak child. Mouthing off to adventurers.’

They convince Bex to go for ratfolk. Next, they plan their course of action: from the letter, they know there is a puppet, and who that it is will surely be important!

Ellerian: We know Meat’s name, so that should give us an advantage.
Bex: What is Meat’s name?
Ellerian: (one hell of a facepalm)
Bex: Meat? Besides Meat!
Erik: What is meat? A miserable pile of sinew!
Nobix: I’m sorry. I had to screenshot the double facepalm.
Ellerian: Wonderful.

The Skeldric followers helpfully rough Bex up to help his disguise, slaying him. Electing to do the infiltration in the morning, they part to get their rest. Ellerian helpfully reminds them to get cured of lycanthropy. The speculation ranges far afield.

Erik: The whole time it’s been the silversmiths! Infecting people with werewolfism just so he could sell silver stuff.
Ellerian: Man, that’s actually a great plot, I gotta admit. A natural lycanthrope went into the silversmith business, he just infects people. That’s not bad. If I ever run a game that’s not for you guys, I’m remembering that one.
Erik: It’s a whole side story, the players don’t even know about…

The DM calls for a Perception check from Erik due to his scent quality. Erik rolls decently.

DM: As you walk through the halls of the college, you get the faintest wisp of tobacco smoke. Which is weird, it’s kind of forbidden in this area of the college.
Erik: I point Anda in that direction, as I’m usually riding him, and try to follow it.
DM: Eventually you come to the library on this floor.
Erik: How late it is?
DM: It’s getting on to probably—
C: Too late to be smoking in the non-smoking section.
DM: 8, 9 pm?
Erik: Open the door to the library. Just slowly pushing it open, I’m not trying to be sneaky, just like I’m trying to go in the library.
DM: As you open the library door, off in the distance, somewhere around the corner where the study tables are, you can hear a couple of voices speaking. “Are all the preparations done for the opening of Kalroth’s temple?” “Yes, we have taken care of everything that we can so far. Just a few more things to take care of.” “Excellent. It shall be a day to remember. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be making my way out.”
Erik: While they’re talking, I make sure the door doesn’t slam shut, make my way over to some books and pick up something.
C: ‘Ah, the finest weed in all the Southfarthing.’
Erik: ‘How to Smoke.’ ‘Smoking Crack.’

Erik hears the man, who is obviously Denelos, teleport out, leaving Carrick behind.

DM: The Archmage begins walking in your direction.
Erik: …what am I reading?
Ellerian: ‘How to Serve Man.’
Erik: ‘Rat Meat: the Other Chicken’, god damn it.

A lot of space-dust gets blown off of books to determine their titles. The DM finds a random book generator and calls for die rolls.

DM: You’re reading a book called ‘Decay Without Hope’.
Erik: Oh! Lord Archmage, didn’t see you there. “Was reading… book.”

Carrick exchanges pleasantries with Erik, and they briefly discuss the mission, though Carrick knows much about it already, having received a report. Erik talks about Meat and the doppelganger to some extent, and Carrick ponders checking where remains are interred.

Ellerian: I purchase a scroll of Read Magic.
Bex: Weed Magic?
Ellerian: No.
DM: The dankest spells.
C: I cast Dab.

C invents the Dabbing Piledriver, performed by Dabgief, while Ellerian studies Meat’s spells. They rule that Meat wrote his spellbook in Old Orsovan, or Common.

C: You call it Orsovan despite the fact that it is obviously Dommon.
Ellerian: It’s a campaign dialect.
C: Which campaign? I’m from the Rockville D&D Troup.
Ellerian: Oh, the 20 years after game…
C: Of course. No, that one was, I see.

The DM declares they sleep the night away, leading to vigorous protests from the elf. Darude Sandstorm erupts along with a lightswitch rave. Morning dawns, along with rambling Warframe discussion. Bex finally begins Disguising himself! Morzan and a jailer haul him down the stairs to the cells and lob him in with the doppelganger.

DM: Sitting on one of the pallets that make the beds in the prison is the doppelganger himself. He’s sitting upright in the corner, his eyes are closed. A bit of wincing behind the thump on his head from the previous cell giving him quite the headache. But other than that he does not make noise.
Bex: ….I don’t know how to start this!
C: He’s prepared to wait you out, it seems.
DM: He either wants to wait or he simply doesn’t care.
Ellerian: The noise of a facepalm echoes through the temples.
C: He opens his eye and says, ‘Oh good, you’re here. Allow me to tell you why I was there.’
Ellerian: W-w-w-w-w-w-w-what?!
Erik: Notice how he stutters? He knows it’s his fault.

Bex ponders starting by dropping Meat’s name, but starts with some Bluffing. The doppelganger questions when the ratfolk came out of the sewer – so he keeps rolling! The doppelganger grumbles that the adventurers took out everyone.

Bex: Geh, 22 on the next one, I don’t know what to say!

Incredibly long and very awkward silence.

Sable: You’ve got to give him a reason to tell you who he knows on the outside! Pretend like you can get him out, but you need some help from the outside, some muscle.
Erik: So ask him, ‘how are we gonna get out of here.’
DM: Sable muscles up to the bars, sticks her head through, and starts telling you stuff! I don’t mind you guys giving hints.
C: ‘Hey, why don’t you share a drink with me right now—‘
Erik: GET OUT OF HERE!
Ellerian: ‘I’ll use my invisibility vest!’

Sable is mocked and harassed. The doppelganger threatens to kill Bex and take his form.

Bex: Um. 25. 25 for a Bluff.
Erik: ‘That’s not a good idea!’ I think that’s Diplomacy at this point!
Bex: 23 on Diplomacy. “You know, instead of you killing me, I could get you down to the sewers and get you back to the main group.”
DM: “What main group?”
Erik: Dun dun dun!
Sable: ‘What, you don’t know who they are? You must not be on the inside.’
Erik: ‘You must be a low-ranking fool.’
C: We all said from inside the cell.

Erik wanders off on a random tangent about a doppelganger running a store in a life he built for himself, sobbing over how they’re just people who have dreams. Bex and the doppelganger chat relatively nonproductively, before Bex tries to drag it back to finding out names.

DM: A scowl creases his brow. “Bugger off. Get your own contacts.”
Erik: You weren’t able to convince him.
Ellerian: Kick his ass!
Bex: A modified 20 for Intimidate. ‘You sure you want to do that?’
Ellerian: That’s what, a Will save now? He does have a good Will save, we already learned that.
Bex: He finally opens his other eye, looks you dead straight in the eye, and says, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Erik appears as the ratfolk Don King. Ellerian appears as the… Skeldric Snape? The advise Bex to give the secret pre-arranged knock, which causes the DM to punch Ellerian. The vampire monk is brought up, assuredly not for the last time. Erik demands good-cop bad-cop for the 70th time, and Moran heads in to rescue Bex, who spews profanity at the group.

Ellerian: Morzan, C?
C: Morzan’s going to pound answers from him, or it?
Ellerian: Morzan will be the good cop, you gotta be the bad cop. You’re the dhampir slayer.
Morzan: Why do I have to be the god cop?!
Ellerian: Who’s going to be the good cop if not you?!
Morzan: I thought it was going to be Good Slayer, Bad… you.
Ellerian: Does that WORK?!
Erik: Yeah. You will continue to yell at him in elven, and he will translate as if you are gonna kill him.
Ellerian: Let me check my Intimidate. Um, nothing.
Erik: You just need to yell in Elven. Constantly. And the other guy probably doesn’t understand Elven, and if he does… that won’t work.

They all show up in the cell! Morzan promptly backs right out. Ellerian prestidigitates, not sure why he’s here.

Ellerian: I’ll ready an action to cast a Ghost Sound the first moment he decides to start mouthing off.
Erik: All Ghost Sound is, is someone in the background going, ‘GHOST SOUND!’
Ellerian: I wasted a cantrip.

The doppelganger is unimpressed by the prestidigitation. Erik suddenly becomes a voice for proportional doppelganger justice for some reason. Ellerian attempts to intimidate with a steely glaze. C draws his sword, rolls a 25, and this finally seems to get the doppelganger’s attention.

C: “Cooperation could lead to an advantageous situation.”
DM: “Depends on the means, I guess.” Beads of sweat have started to form on his forehead, and he slowly raises his hands up. “You slaughtered everything else in there, I’m not looking to be a part of it.”
C: “That’s better.”
Erik: (rummaging through bags in the background) I found iron.
Ellerian: ‘Iron helps us play!’
C: (totally thrown off his game by giggling)

Magneto escapes are held up to the rigorous light of science. The doppelganger explains that he was hired as backup to an existing doppelganger, which they conclude is the puppet, but his employers didn’t tell any details. Unhappy, the group proposes dropping a citywide doppelganger check into Faldoun’s lap. They try to pump the doppelganger for more information, but it seems to have little.

Erik: Ask him about the reproductive system of doppelgangers,
C: What do you look like when you’re NOT impersonating someone?
Morzan: What do you look like when you’re DOING IT?
Erik: Are you a male or a female? Do you take it or give it?

They argue over whether Gozer is a god. It gets weird.

Erik: This gnome stands over three feet tall. It’s the world’s biggest gnome.

C sheathes his sword, apparently in the dopperlganger’s torso. They report back to the sergeant-at-arms.

C: Sound the alarm. Bing, bing! ‘Doppelganger in the city!’ Bing, bing! ‘Lynch your relatives!’ Bing!
Erik: ‘I found one right here!’ 20 gold for confirmed doppelganger. 40 gold if they’re dead. The city descends into chaos.

Ellerian laughs himself to tears. Sable shrugs, having missed it.

Nobix: If we kill everyone, that means we’ll eventually get the doppelganger.
C: Anyone who leaves town is automatically guilty.
Ellerian: The way I see it…. They’re humans…

Ellerian shrugs. The rest of the group has nothing but scornful glares for him.

Ellerian: Oh sure! Now I’VE crossed the line. Now I’VE gone too far.
C: It’s the city’s policy! You heard it!

They request an audience with Faldoun, and it is immediately granted. They head back to his office.

Erik: Faldoun’s like, ‘I’m aware of this doppelganger.’ (transforming noise)
Ellerian: The first time he asks, ‘Who else have you told?’, that’s when we roll initiative, guys. Especially if he shuts the door to say it.

They legitimately debate the possibility for a bit, but relate all they know to Faldoun. They debate doppelganger identification traits, Somehow Sable gets everyone killed? The PCs try to bait a response about Acheron out of Faldoun, but achieve nothing! A long, baffled period follows, leading to Faldoun asking them to go explore the cliff tunnel more thoroughly, while his people follow up on their assassins and the mysterious poison they use called Burning Blade. With that, the session ends – the PCs get a chance to shop, level up, and bitch! Always bitch! Sable even bitches about the encumbrance of gold, despite having 20 Strength and encumbrance not even being tracked!