Calinai: “What would you do for a Klondike bar?” “I would kill everyone in this room.”
Inferian: What would Mega Man do for a Klondike Bar? Defeat Klondike Bar Man.

Calinai starts the game by rolling up her Warder; the DM has agreed to give her an equal-level Warder for no investment, presumably on the assumption that with Inferian’s thralls all running around, it won’t really make any difference anyway.

Inferian: So we just defeated the three Monks of Mockery…
DM: Monks of Mockery?!
Inferian: They were monks, we mocked them.
DM: I should have made them 5, but I didn’t want to look up all the stats for monks. I figured you’d probably end up skipping the monk battle anyways, so I’m like, “I’m not gonna put any more into this fight.”
Inferian: We have to explore everywhere, it’s required. There might be treasure.
DM: Well, I’ll just have to start making my dungeons harder, like yours, to discourage exploration. “Psicrystal? Oh ho, Meteor Shower.”
Inferian: Yeah, wow, you left SO much of the Sword Mage’s castle unexplored, I was amazed.
DM: How were you amazed?! You punished us for everything! You’re like a true real life God, you punish us for everything that’s instinctual in us!
Calinai: After fighting those two demons and being BARELY alive for the spider battle, I don’t think we’d have been able to KILL the Sword Master if we kept exploring.
Inferian: Line piece. Line piece! LINE PIECE!
Lars: The battlefield is random and jagged!
DM: The next Forsaken is going to be a rust monster prestige class.

The group loots the monks and attempts to skin the one for his tattoos. Inferian discovers his voice isn’t working properly.

Inferian: “Testing, testing.” Damn, that’s smooth.
Calinai: I knew it, you were lying, always with your lies.
Inferian: “That smooth ice cream has sabotaged me, and now the healing has begun.”

Lars and Calinai produce some healing for the group, which did take some damage last fight, while the DM rolls for weather (rain). The DM declares this to be Helm’s Deep.

DM: You must now face 1d10x10,000 orcs. 30,000 orcs assail you in the dungeon.
Lars: Wait a minute! That’s three times as many as were actually at Helm’s Deep.
DM: It’s more comical to squeeze that many into a dungeon.
Inferian: There were only three player characters at Helm’s Deep, but there’s more here.
DM: That makes the multiplier! “Oh, the boss has 2,000,000 hit points? Oh, player 2 has joined, it now has 5,000,000 hit points!”

The DM starts drawing out the next hallway as the players produce their minis. Briefly, someone is missing; the DM suggests it’s the monks.

DM: (muttering) You rose them all from dead, since you don’t have any PIGS to push down the dungeon halls any more.
Inferian: You’re just mad because it was a good idea.
DM: No, I thought that was brilliant, but y’all are cruel. Any Lawful characters over there?
Inferian: This is not the age of PETA, thank you! We’re medieval characters! Pigs are just oinking meat vehicles. All we’ve done is said goodbye to a rasher of bacon.
Lars: Thank god it wasn’t polymorphed human. I’m just saying…
Inferian: “Well Falgrim, we count on you to go first as always.”
DM: Since there are no pigs volunteering.
Inferian: Yeah, that’s brilliant. We send the pig in first. We hear monks beating up the pig, we know not to go in that room.
Lars: (seeing where his mini ended up) Is… is Lars on his way back to the room with the sheep?
DM: To get more fodder?
Lars: Yeeaaah… “To get more fodder.:”
Inferian: What WOULD the monks have done if the door opened and a pig came in?

Benar moves up to check the next door, as the DM hams up Benar’s mostly-nonexistent injuries. He finds no traps. On ahead they roll, yakking amongst themselves the entire way, as Benar heads up to the next door for more of the same.

DM: What he hears—
Lars: Moo! Moo!
Inferian: Hee-HAW! Hee-HAW!
Calinai: Baa!
DM: I’ll never live that down. You’re the ones who keep listening – you stood there outside the door listening to it for five minutes! Was my sheep not convincing enough for you?
Calinai: Have you ever played Fable 1? The sound of two men having sex is sheep sounds.
DM: I… never…

Inevitably, too many toasters come up. Benar hears dripping water! Sioneva tortures the DM by saying ‘Ghoere’ to make him laugh.

DM: I’m working on my Ghoere-immunity. It was just the way you always said it. GHOERE! The capital G was not enough, it had to be all caps. The land of Ghoere! For sure! You will score! In Ghoere!
Inferian: With a whore!
DM: Yeah, you never ran out.
Inferian: It’s amazing how versatile that rhyme is.
Calinai: (apropos of nothing) Someone IS making popcorn, right?

Inferian wordlessly holds up the bag of popcorn he’s been eating out of for a few minutes, and everyone gets a cheap laugh at Calinai’s expense. Lars moves up to open the door.

Falgrim: “Lars McWhitecloak makes his way!”
Inferian: “Fall before the might of the Whitecloaks! …is what a Whitecloak would say if he were opening this door the way I am!”
Lars: 15 on Move Silently.
Falgrim: What’s your armor check penalty?
Lars: …negative six. Nine. So as I walk down the hallways I say, “I HOPE NOBODY’S THERE!”
DM: You’re quieter than Samwise, with all his pots clattering back and forth.

Stepping inside, they discover what amounts to the bedroom of the monks, with three pallets and some other dressing. They promptly get searching.

DM: Although at first glance the pallets appear to be secured in some fashion to the floor, if you lift from the right angle, two of them remove themselves from the floor.
Falgrim: Free pallets!
DM: Yes. Do you wish to take the pallets?
Inferian: We’ve discovered their supply of condoms and porn.

They loot some random flasks and a random ring! Benar watches Lars to make sure he reports his loot accurately!

Lars: “I found… this flask!”
DM: “Oh Lord Draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagon!”
Inferian “Lord Dragon! Lord Dragon! Lord Dragon! Lord Dragon!”
Falgrim: No one likes a tattletale.
DM: “Tell me, Mr. Benar, do you enjoy being an insufferable know-it-all or can you not help yourself?”

Calinai swiftly identifies the ring as a Ring of Protection +2, while Falgrim dutifully scribbles down the potions. With misspellings.

Falgrim: Not Cure Serious Wands!
Inferian: “Falgrim should take them. He is the one most likely to be cut off from healing.”
Calinai: And besides, he can always give them to someone else if they need it. (a pause) [Lars] is dying… “WHAT ARE YOU!? TELL ME WHO YOU ARE! And I’ll give you this! Tell me!”
Inferian: He took his secret to the grave. Hey look, there’s a cloak in his pack!
Lars: My ghost: “CRAP!”
Inferian: “Shit! A ghost!”
Calinai: Hey, a journal, let’s flip back a few pages. “The best day of my life, when I graduated from Whitecloak Academy.”
Falgrim: “Dear Diary: got another swirly today.”

Onwards they advance, with the DM forgetting where he’d put traps and Calinai still snickering over the time it seemed the DM was about to walk out the door.

DM: Well I had planned to use the illusion, but I had planned to use it to more dramatic effect.
Calinai: But you DESTROYED it.
DM: Asshole.

The next room features a rack, which also comes with potions of four different colors – Heroism, Lesser Restoration, Keen Edge oil, and Greater Magic Weapon +4 oil. Calinai continues to fret over Falgrim’s cursed wound.s.

DM: Calinai, you recall in one of your studies when you were newer to the Tower in one of the novice classes, a particularly annoying Sedai instructor had gone over curses and cursed wounds and the like.
Calinai: Wait, wait, was this particular one—
DM: This particular instructor was a very quarrelsome and annoyed female who always tried to remind her students that even if a cursed wound looked hopeless, a high enough --
Calinai: I thought you were gonna describe Lady Snipe – Lady Snape, or something.
Inferian: Ha ha, Lady Snipe, that’s wonderful.
DM: (Snape voice) “No… this was not… Lady Snipe.”
Inferian: (falsetto) “This was Lady Snape-ette! Fifty points from Gryffindor!”

After some vigorous mocking of Inferian for his maps and hurricanes, they return to the game and another door to Listen at.

Falgrim: “BENAR! LOOOOOCK!” …Does he have lockpicking skills?
Inferian: No, I didn’t buy any for him because you could pick locks the Falgrim way.
Falgrim: And I rolled pretty well, so that’s good. 23.
Calinai: You break your leg.

That isn’t enough to open it though! With some extra effort and fellow PC assistance, Falgrim makes a roll of 25.

DM: With every muscle of your upper body and legs, a vein bursts on Falgrim’s head, and finally the door gives, as he just, with every last bit of his might, manages to open this door.
Falgrim: (breathing hard) “…it’s a toilet.”

Inside this room, they find an odd capsule sitting against the far wall. A tome sits atop it, which is conveniently written in the Old Tongue.

Lars: It’s written in the Old Tongue?
Inferian: You can’t speak Old Tongue?
Lars: I can, but I have Read Magic.
Inferian: So why are you cursing!? You don’t have to cast a spell to read it!
Lars: I know, but I was hoping nobody else could read it, so I could be like, “Oh, that’s what it said! Let’s move on.”

For some reason, they set the dungeon on fire. The solid stone dungeon. Calinai pockets the books.

DM: The capsule seems to be made of a substance none of you can identify.
Inferian: Women’s flesh!
Calinai: (weariest sigh imaginable)

For some reason, they completely ignore the capsule. Lars heads up to the next door.

Lars: I’m gonna take the front on this since it’s not locked.
Inferian: Lars is desperate for loot. Slavering with item-lust, Lars decides to take the lead!

The next room is a horrific nightmare of body parts and corpses, a charnel house of carnage and gore! Lars discovers that “someone” (read: Inferian) changed his former lord commander’s name to Pedobear, possibly spoiling the effect of this horrific revelation.

Inferian: “Calinai, may I make a recommendation?”
Lars: “Burn it!”
Inferian: “Start using Fireburst and don’t stop until we’ve brought purity and cleansing to this room.”
Clainai: “That goes without saying.”
DM: And that’s coming from the burned on.

They attempt to lock Lars in and fry him, for the purposes of becoming more lawful. The DM briefly forgets how Fiery Burst works, and the players remind him that Calinai does have unlimited uses.

Inferian: That’s what I was saying, just keep doing this -- (snapping his fingers) -- until all is cleansed.
DM: Heh. (singing) If we… burn the bodies we can... cleanse the world…
Inferian: There’s gonna be a fight! (snap) A fight! (snap) A fight! (snap)
DM: No West Side Story in this dungeon!
Lars: (sings the Addams Family theme)
Inferian: I imagine that was actually the official theme of Wes’s kingdom. You know, because it was… Wes Side Story.
Calinai: (laughing) That was pretty good!
Everyone else: (groaning)
DM: “Hey, Chino, you dog! You hear me!? Cur!”

The map gets confused since the DM redrew it on the fly to not go off the table. Inferian demands they find a way to break into a space with no obvious openings, since it has to have treasure, but it turns out that it shouldn’t actually exist anyway. They refresh themselves on their location relevant to Calinai’s sister.

Calinai: She’s pretty morbid about what happened to her words. (pause) They were eaten alive been pigs.
DM: (pause) Oh yeah, they probably were fed to the pigs.
Lars: “Never trust a man with a pig farm.”
Calinai: That’s an interesting warning.
Lars: You ever seen “Snatch?”

A long pause.

Lars: Not the porn.
Calinai: I was just like, “Why was he asking me if I’ve seen—oh the movie.”

Calinai and Lars briefly argue over the use of pie in the American Pie movies and the logic behind various actions. Benar Listens at next door, thinks he hears something, but cannot identify it! The discussion veers slightly sidelong to the arbitrary power level of Expelliarmus. Inferian vows to grind dead minions into slurry for the new live ones to eat… I think for the third time in this campaign. The DM puts some minis down on the map.

Falgrim: What’s in front of me.
Inferian: Four dudes.
Falgrim: Golems?
Inferian: They’re in the mood for dwarf.
DM: Heh heh. Yes, this narrow room…
Inferian: “Look out Falgrim, they’re in the mood for sweet dwarf man-canyon.”
DM: Rather grisly looking creatures, that are about the size of a slightly above-average-height human. However, they’re covered in – patches of skin are discolored in places and stiches cover much of their visible body.
Inferian: Flesh golems, fuuuuuck.
Calinai: (who has somehow confused these with mummies) I’m searching for Brandom Frasier. I rolled a 16 in my search for Brandon Frasier.
Inferian: Sorry, you only found Kevin Bacon.
Calinai: Damn it!

Of course, as soon as they step in, the golems awaken and turn to face Falgrim, who is first in the room. Falgrim promptly steps back out, but this doesn’t stop them! They quickly fall into battle position as initiative is rolled! Sioneva acts first, attempts to Spring Attack without possessing the feat to do so. Some confusion over the nature of the skirmish ability arises.

Inferian: Skirmish is, you move ten feet or more and you get the bonuses of skirmish, which are the bonus damage, and in her case she gets the bonus attack because of her… something.
Sioneva: What?!
Inferian: You get an extra attack! Because you have something! Some item! Skirmisher boots?
DM: In your mind you play out a heroic firing of your bow… It is now you, Inferian Bold-Porpoise, that is put to the test.
Inferian: Aaaah, move me back down the hall a little bit—
DM: (cracks up)
Falgrim: “I’m outta here.”
Calinai: (moving the mini) Further?
Inferian: (considering it)
DM: (howling)
Inferian: Yeah…

Everyone is readying an action, which they grimly realize will lead to one giant mess when the golems finally move. Which they are not.

Calinai: They’re just inside doing this: “We wait for them like this. Get maximum attack opportunities.”
DM: Nope, they rolled shit and they have an initiative penalty, so they’re not doing anything.
Calinai: There’s epic music playing as we all just wait here like this for days. I just like the idea of them waiting inside for us,.
Lars: For lack of anything better, I’m going to cast Bless. +1 to attack, and +1 to our saving throws against fears.
Inferian: For all the fears they’re going to be using at us.
DM: Benar. “Lord Dragon, come back! Come back and slay the monsters!”

A golem finally steps out, triggering everyone’s actions. It misses Falgrim, while Calinai’s fire burst slows the creature down. Inferian and Calinai shrug to each other and plan to phone this one in. Sioneva shoots for 13, while Falgrim takes a whack with his frostbrand.

Falgrim: (rolling damage) Aww, a 6 and a 1?!
Inferian: Damn it Falgrim, we’re requiring you to carry us, why’re you rolling like that.
Falgrim: I’m sorry.
Calinai: Hey Inferian. I blame you for these creatures. I blame everything for these creatures on you. They’ve made me useless because you’re too overpowered.
Inferian: No – you’re blaming—
Calinai: The dungeon after you commit 155 points of magic damage is nothing but these golems.
Inferian: No no no, I’m not saying this isn’t my fault. This is not revenge for me doing 155 points of damage, at least not in its entirety. This is revenge for those golems I threw at you that kept shutting Alandris down because he couldn’t damage them. That’s where this is from.
DM: I don’t even remember that, honestly…

Falgrim lops down the golem, but another one steps up and socks Falgrim in the gut. Benar fires an arrow for all of 7.

DM: Benar’s readied weapon strikes true!
Inferian: He throws his bow!
DM: The arrow enters into the side of its head!
Inferian: And comes out the other, striking Falgrim for 17.
Falgrim: “NOOOOOO!”
DM: The arrow magically forms a metal band. Now it’s got a funny hat.
Inferian: They don’t have too much behind them. Since Falgrim took them out in a couple of mighty hews. Hew, hew!
DM: Hew hew. Heh heh heh heh heh.
Inferian: You could say your damage is hewmungous.

Incredible silence. They hear a muffled voice from inside the room, after which the other two golems… fail to emerge. Lars peeks around the corner using a mirror, but sees absolutely no sign of the golems in the mirror.

Lars: VAMPIRES!
Sioneva: No!
Inferian: What?
Lars: I’m just saying they have no reflection.
DM: (terrifyingly gleeful) Vampire constructs!!! Yes! That’s what I can think of next!
Inferian: (facepalms)
DM: FACEPALM! FACEPALM! I did it!

They enter into the room proper, but yes, the golems appear to have disappeared. Inferian futilely wishes for a glitterdust scroll.

DM: Is that what they did in that episode of Johnny Quest? “Monster’s invisible, let’s just toss paint at the footprints!”
Inferian: Yeah, it’s the magical version of a bag of flour.
DM and Falgrim: (cracking up)
Inferian: What!?
Falgrim: I dunno, it just sounds funny when you say it.

A horrible noise ensues, after which the transcriber openly notes that he’ll never figure out what made it. Well, I was right. Traveling through the room, they end up in a long hallway that twists and turns and annoys everybody to the point of shouting. Inferian and Calinai start arguing over who would win a slap-fight.

Inferian: What’s your Strength, anyway?
Calinai: 1. …I mean 12!
Inferian: Wow, I thought that was going to be a real easy victory for a moment! What about Con?
Calinai: Ah ha, Con is what I’m strong at! 16!
Inferian: Hmm, I can slap harder but you can take more slaps.
Calinai: I have a Dex of 16, that means I have two slaps for every one of your slaps.
Inferian: I’ll use my Wisdom of 17 and not get involved.
Calinai: Well my Wisdom of 18 convinces you otherwise!
Inferian: My Charisma of 19 convinces you you should follow me instead of slapping me!
Calinai: DAMN IT! You win this round.

Winding their way around, they at last come to a door, behind which Benar hears heavy footsteps! He backs up to inform the others. They jockey frantically for position, trying to identify the source and location of the noise, but every hallway they try seems to be deserted. At last, Calinai peers around a corner. The DM promptly drops down a mini.

Calinai: SWEET JESUS!
DM: An unhappy memory from earlier in the dungeon: a recognizable clay golem is shuffling around the corner.
Calinai: THEY GOT OUT THE DOOR!
DM: Swinging around and smashing its fists into the walls as it goes.
Calinai: “Hi…?”
DM: Initiative…?

It is rolled! Calinai begs for a high roll, but mostly is disappointed. Sioneva, acting first, can’t find a good way to skirmish or even fire on the creature and eventually gives up in frustration. The DM cackles and vows to design all dungeons this cramped.

DM: No more open spaces! Five foot hallways!
Sioneva: NOOOO MY NEMESIS!
Falgrim: Don’t enlarge me don’t enlarge me aaaagh!
Inferian: And that’s how gelatinous cubes are formed!

A flesh golem bursts onto the scene before many others have a chance to act. Calinai can’t manage to get out of the way of attacks, thanks to the cramped quarters.

DM: Calinai. Good news or bad news?
Calinai: I don’t think there CAN be good news.
DM: This doesn’t involve crits. I don’t pull that shit.
Calinai: Because Inferian’s like, “good news, bad news,” what’s good about the news? The good news is, you didn’t get crit for a LOT.
DM: 59 points of damage!
Calinai: It’s all bad news!
DM: Bad news is, you have no chance of making the Fortitude saving throw.
Calinai: Yeah, good news or bad news, what? He has five attacks and they might crit.
Lars: You MIGHT survive.
Calinai: None of the attacks crit. Oh, what’s the bad news? They all hit high.

Calinai eats 17 points of curse damage, but in the process of getting pummeled deduces that the golem has gone berserk, as they are wont to do. The players realize they’re trapped between the pair of golems, and this is bad.

DM: Percentage-wise, there’s no way they haven’t gone berserk.
Inferian: We go downstairs and find the golems just choking the life out of the final boss of the dungeon. “Oh, that’s handy.”
Falgrim: I’ll be damned.
Inferian: Why did we get experience all of a sudden?

A discussion as to why Lars has not yet installed Diablo III takes a very weird turn as he claims he couldn’t because his computer was being used by Smurfs.

Calinai: No. The Smurfs would have installed Diablo III. Smurfs love Diablo III. It’s in the book. Smurfs love Blizzard. Blizzard uses blue. Smurfs love blue.
Inferian: “Papa Smurf always said, check your skills and attributes before going out to battle. Now does everyone have equipped their Cursed Sword of Smurfing?”

Falgrim lops off a golem’s limb and most of its torso. Calinai’s turn comes up, and she runs like hell – dodging an AOO, to the DM’s dismay. Inferian fires a crossbow bolt, misses, then uses his move action to head down the hall; Sioneva attacks much more effectively, slaying one of the golems! Lars misses in turn; Benar promptly ducks into the shadows, preparing to sneak-attack once the thing kills Lars and advances. The other flesh golem promptly walks around a corner, directly up to Inferian and Calinai.

Falgrim: Awww, that sucks for you guys.
Inferian: Uh-oh.
Calinai: (laughing)
Falgrim: Of all the hallways to run down.
DM: Even as Inferian shoulders aside Calinai trying to flee the battle, he does a Han Solo right around the corner into another flesh golem. Calinai immediately vows to get a Warder. For about the tenth time this session, Sioneva attempts to shoot something without being anywhere in line of sight because she refuses to look at the map.

The clay golem continues to deliver punishing blows, though I’m not exactly clear on whom it dealt them to. Calinai and Inferian act at the same time; Calinai uses her Vanisher cloak to turn them both invisible.

DM: Pulling the old Deathly Hallows trick, huh?
Falgrim: Now Disapparate.
Inferian: We’ll stop right here so we both have a line of sight on anything that might come around.
Falgrim: I’m not gonna say, because I’ll jinx it.
Inferian: Another golem, is that what you’re thinking?
Falgrim: Yeah.

Sioneva fires on the clay golem, while Falgrim steps up to deal with the flesh golem and promptly takes 17 damage from it. Falgrim is in serious damage of going down. Lars demands they stop after this battle to rest, which everyone agrees is a pretty good idea. Calinai and Inferian skip their turns again.

Inferian: We can’t do anything.
Calinai: Yes, everything in this dungeon so far has been magic immune.
Inferian: Except the monks.
Calinai: Oh yeah. We fucked them up good.
Inferian: Like I said, we can do nothing.
Calinai and Inferian: (exchange helpless shrugs)
Falgrim: I do like the shrugs.
Inferian: Yeah, to fire a crossbow takes a standard action to shoot and a move action to shrug when it doesn’t hit.
Calinai: We explore the hallways! Let’s go down over here! I’m gonna go open this door, I’m invisible! No, I’m not gonna add whatever the fuck’s in there.
Inferian: The door’s open, I’m sure.
DM: It’s quite open.
Calinai: I’m gonna peek – no, I’m just gonna look in, ‘cuz I’m invisible.
Inferian: You see the baleful gaze of a basilisk. Roll your Fort.
Calinai: I see an army of golems with visors on that see through invisible.

In fact, inside they see a laboratory! Lars attempts to abandon the battle to loot the lab for treasure. In actuality, he’s retreating like mad, luckily dodging its AOO and thus managing to stay alive for one more round. Benar steps up and actually does something for the first time this fight, dealing 8 points of damage, which is exactly one less than it has left. Everyone scrambles out of the way of the golem… which immediately advances at Lars once again. Inferian fails to shoot it. The flesh golem swings!

DM: (singing) Fleshy golem, you’re my hero!
Inferian: (singing) Gonna take Lars’ hit points down to zero! He’s my anger personified, and he’s fighting on the DM’s side!
DM: What is with fucking Benar? I can’t hit him! I crit fucking Lars but I can’t hit him…

Lars eats another 13 points. Falgrim finally finishes off the flesh golem, leaving the clay one still up.

Falgrim: Just fire into melee and put Lars out of his misery.
Lars: At least I can heal that damage.
Inferian: And maybe if you’re dead it won’t think you’re a threat!

Lars withdraws, to avoid the AOO, and Benar’s turn comes up.M

Inferian: I don’t Benar can do much but hold his action, unless he wants to go up and get shredded by the golem. Which he doesn’t really.
DM: Sure he does.
Inferian: You just wanna kill Benar.
DM: I do now! At least in the initial clay golem encounter he stood his ground and manned up. This one he’s cowering in a corner with his Lord Dragon.
Inferian: Because he could flank at that point. Here he can’t. Here he can stand in front of it and get its full attention. That’s not craven Benar’s way.
DM: Oh you’ll get a replacement in a week.
Inferian: Twenty-four hours, thanks.
Calinai: Out of character, Inferian doesn’t care.
Inferian: IN character, Inferian don’t know he’s gonna get Insta-Benar.
DM: Well, if he’s going to continue to allow the Whitecloak to show him up.
Inferian: He’s perfectly willing to allow the Whitecloak to show him up in the “taking punches from the golem” area. He is okay with that.
Sioneva: Poor Lars.

Sioneva plans to shoot Inferian, with everyone cheering her on, but once Calinai picks a square she ducks around the corner to skirmish. Miserably, she fails to end it, and the golem advances on Inferian.

Inferian: As he’s stepping forward, I wild surge for 2 and cast Vigor on myself.
DM: Hee hee hee, we couldn’t get through a session without a wild surge!
Calinai How many temporary hit points do you get?
Inferian: Let’s see here, I cast at 8th level, so 40.
DM: FORTY. Jeez, even hitting you it’s not gonna do any damage.
Inferian: Exactly! EXACTLY! And that’s why I wasn’t afraid. I can take this for a while, guys.
Calinai: And this is where he’s like, “It’s a pity I went into this particular book of golems where their fists bypass all temporary hit points. It’s the Book of Bullshit I made up…”
DM: You could’ve done this a lot earlier and saved your group a lot of curse damage.
Inferian: I never had a chance to get in front!
Calinai: DM, I need to get you D&D 3.5: Beating Inferian. It’s just a big manual of how to beat Inferian. It has his class and how to counter it…
Inferian: I like how you ALL want me to die.
Sioneva: If I wanted you to die I would’ve shot you.
Inferian: No, you want me to die but aren’t willing to take the steps to kill me, because in-character you don’t. But out of character you’d all be happy to see my corpse.

Falgrim finally finishes the golem off, and victory is at last the party’s. With that complete, the group has more or less explored the floor in its entirety, barring some unimportant halls that can be mapped out by the crystals later. While the DM calculates some numbers, the PCs head off for a well-earned rest…