With one player missing, the group chooses to PLAY rather than spend the evening board-gaming – and so begins the first Shadowun (3rd edition!) game of the group’s history! Our cast of characters is…

Indigo: Physical adept, with the usual repertoire of goodies like Killing Hands, Missile Mastery, improved initiative, and whatnot. A Dark Elf, so not quite as blend-in-y as one might hope.
Salvo: Dwarven street samurai, loaded to the gills with alarmingly heavy weapons. The usual run of goodies.
Convoy: Salvo’s brother; a rigger. Drives a custom van and has a crapton of drones in the back.
Zero: Decker and enigmatic man.

The game opens with the group meeting in a bar, where they intend to meet a Johnson of some sort. Novatech Inc. wants the group to hit Aztechnology, of all places…

Convoy: All right, we need to all look cool, activate your eyes. (deploys his protective covers)
Salvo: What is your street name?
Zero: Huh?
Salvo: What is your street name?
Zero: …damn! I wasn’t quite finished. That’s like a superhero name, right?
Calinai: No, it’s just, what you’re known on the street, as a codename. When they talk about you in the newspaper that’s the name they use. “Convoy and his Shadowrunners.”
Zero: Wait. You’re Convoy?
Convoy: Yes. How am I the leader?
Zero: Because you’re Convoy! You got the touch!
Convoy: Yeah, and look what else I’ve got cybernetic. (mimes opening his chest)
DM: Wait, who is the leader?
Indigo: Technically no one, but I do have the Leadership skill.
Convoy: It’s her, because none of the rest of us would be willing to do it. In character. Out of character, she’s not willing to do it either, but in character it’s her.

The DM starts assigning A-Team names to everyone. Zero briefly settles on Hannibal, then Neo.

Convoy: “Are you the One?” “No.”

The group abruptly discovers the guy in the corner of the Cannon Companion and the entire session grinds to a halt as they collapse in laughter at the image.

DM: You’re not there long before your contact comes up. His clothes not particularly conspicuous, standard street clothes… Not wearing too much on him, nothing you can really see. If he has weapons they’re extremely well-hidden. “You came. Your contact speaks highly of you. I hope you’re as good as they say.”

Silence. The group side-eyes each other, as no one wants to be first to talk.

DM: “You all are… a particularly silent bunch.”
Indigo: “We believe our achievements speak for us.”
DM: “This particular mission will test your mettle for sure. It’ll also act as a sort of test for another mission we have planned. But none of that. Your target is a particular device discovered by the Aztechnology corporation. They brought it here to one of the more secure locations for study. We want it. This particular device is one of alien origins, as far as we can tell. That’s what the rumor says right now…”

The players who know anything about Shadowrun are all looking a bit panicky at this point, but the DM goes on, informing them that they can steal the key to the facility from a particularly free-willed security agent who enjoys joyriding late at night. Indigo steps up to shake them down for more details and more money, getting them permission to keep any other valuable property they come away with.

DM: “Here’s the information for the dropoff location. Until then.” He promptly gets up, walking to another table, eventually hiding in the crowd and making his way out. If you weren’t really paying attention to the way he left, it’d be as if he vanished into the crowd entirely.

Wasting no time, the group splits up to go hit up their contacts and make their preparations. By a stroke of luck, Convoy’s mechanic actually has a history with the security guy they’re trying to grab, though not at present since a disgruntled employee had it out with him.

DM: “Hey Jim, my friend over here wants to talk to you about that ‘little present’ you left the security chief.” “Oh yeah! He’s gonna get real screwed once he tried to hit brake after going about 100. Ha ha, that sucker’s gonna BLOW!”
Convoy: “As in…”
DM: “Uh, the brakes will blow. I didn’t wanna kill the guy. The brakes’ll shoot, he’ll be careening, but the vehicle’s designed to slow down if the brakes collapse for safety purposes.”
Convoy: “Does he go over a hundred in that thing often?”
DM: “Not particularly, from what I know. I mean, since he has to stay in the city, close to his job, he can only go what speed limits provide…”

Convoy gossips for a bit, getting hints on the guy’s routes and times. The mechanic passes him some information on the device, as well as the vehicle the guy normally drives. The car is highly armed.

DM: It’s a standard… um, I guess a medium turret, light weapons fire, mostly meant for infantry?
Convoy: That’s a miniturret. Medium turrets are on tanks, dude.
DM: Oh. Um, a standing turret.
Convoy: A ring mount. That’s a different matter altogether!

With this information in hand, Convoy uses his headware comms to call Zero.

Convoy: “Hey, can you get us some city maps of the area around the compound, I hear this is where our guy confines his travel to.”
Zero: “Already done.”
Convoy: “…literally, or do you mean that—“
Zero: “Sorry. Good as done.”
Convoy: “Okay.”

A brief debate on phone mechanics ensues, as Zero apparently is datajacked into his wrist phone. Convoy calls Salvo to give him the car details.

Convoy: “I’m thinking what we should do is arrange for an accident, once we kidnap him. Take him out, get him out of the way, that way they won’t be suspicious of, ‘hey our guy bit it, someone’s got his car’. Just smash the thing into a wall…”

The group has arranged to all have radios, with Convoy’s head-commlink serving as the central node for their communications. Zero starts his Matrix run.

Zero: That’d be a great Flaw. “Hunt’n’Peck Style.” “I’m hacking as fast as I can!”

Zero briefly ends up in World of Warcraft, before properly infiltrating Seattle’s public works department and getting the local maps for the roads in question,

DM: You’re pretty sure the plans of the city streets and so forth, even around the corporations, are unaltered.
Convoy: Yeah, that’d be kind of obvious. “That’s odd, according to the city map, there wasn’t a wall here!”

Salvo, meanwhile, discovers that ‘a’ corporation nearby has acquired armor-piercing rockets, and as is tradition, everyone assumes it’s the Aztecs.

Salvo: “I’m going armed light this time. Try to keep the sound down.”
Convoy: “I’m going to have the drones on site.” Speaking of, I’m going to head down to the nearby area—
Salvo: “Are you talking to yourself again?”
DM: You forgot to turn off the comm….
Convoy: No, I’m talking to the car, telling it what to do.
DM: Uh-oh, does that mean I need to give your car a voice?
Convoy: Don’t worry, it only communicates by selecting songs on the radio.

Salvo gives him a dirty look par exellance.

Convoy: I’m going to go deploy my microblimp.
Zero: Is that what you call your air biscuits now?
Convoy: How do you think I deploy it?
DM: For disguising purposes, your microblimp is disguised as a miniature toy version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle blimp. Each of your devices is shaped like a turtle.
Convoy: This thing is nearly impossible to detect, fortunately…
DM: It’s only detected by small children. “Whee turtles!”

Convoy drops his blimp off 12 kilometers away so it can keep an eye on the compound at the limit of its sensors. Meanwhile, Indigo’s contacts have hinted that other shadowrunners will be going after the device as well.

DM: “Rumor has it that Aztechnology’s recently come out with a new standing armor unit of sorts. This particular one’s supposed to be able to move around the same corridors that people do, but it’s supposed to be built like a tank==”
Zero: Metal Gear?! We’re after Metal Gear?!
DM: …No. “So far they haven’t really deployed any of them in the public’s eye and everything about them has been hearsay and rumor about this ‘standing tank’. The name they’re coming out with is something along the lines of ‘E-Dee-Two Hundred Nine’.”
Zero: Heh heh, that’s even better!
Convoy: You know what solves this problem?
Zero: Stairs.
Convoy: …I was gonna say, get an 11th level adventuring party.
Zero: Push it down the stairs, watch it squeal like a pig.
Indigo: We have three names ending in ‘oh’ and then Convoy.
Convoy: “Convo.”
Salvo: Short for ‘convoluted’.

In the background, Mario reminds us that all toasters toast toast. This will be painful not only for this session, but for several ongoing ones.

DM: Italian plumber discovers problem with city power supply: Too many toasters! An interview with Mario Lopez, this evening. We all know Mario, who solved the Koopa Crisis. Yes, we all remember Koopa, the vile dragon from… from the mini-mountain over in… Virginia…(trailing off, confused)
Convoy: Wait. Bowser is a redneck from the Appalachians?
Indigo and Covoy: That explains SO MUCH!
Indigo: Yet raises so many other questions!

Convoy discovers all his drones are running Skynet pilot software. They examine the facility blueprints carefully, discovering an underground area with limited access and an odd section that looks out of place, that might even have an undocumented emergency exit. Convoy jumps to his blimp.

DM: As the blimp focuses its lens in the area that is, you do notice on the building nearby in an almost-abandoned structure rarely used, just outside of the main corporate area—
Convoy: Ooh, I rolled really well on a Sensor test for that.
DM: It does detect a small opening, and just below that small opening on one of the sides of the building, is an entrance, an entrance that shouldn’t be on this building. It also seems a little bit nicer, but it’s well-disguised. Dirt seems almost organized, as if it was dirtied on purpose.

The drone continues to survey the compound – it has heavy walls, a light air-based drone defense, with larger armored-response drones on call. The latter information is of substantial interest.

Convoy: There’s going to be a rigger behind them. I’m gathering that he doesn’t normally have the heavy response drone affiliated, so it’ll take him just a short while to bring that online.
DM: The drone itself probably only gets brought up now and then for exercises, just to keep its parts from rusting over. It’s rarely used. Actually, you can tell it’s in a sort of hibernate state and will probably take up to five to ten minutes to bring online and send out to combat. That building is rarely struck by shadowrunners. They have a record of two shadowruns in two years, both stopped.
Convoy: I’m going to put in a call back to my mechanic and ask him if he knows who the rigger on site for the facility is.
DM: “WHY ARE YOU WAKING ME UP?! It’s two in the morning!”
Convoy: “…wow, I lost track of time. Sorry! I’ll call back later!”
Zero: Well since you’re up now…

Zero makes plans to gain control of the walking tank, as it appears to be operated as a slave device by the facility computer instead of rigged. The next day Convoy apologies to his mechanic, discovering that it’s a fairly famous rigger known as Haxis, who writes his own pilot programs at an amazing level.

DM: “You should’ve seen this particularly nasty drone he brought in a few days ago! Man, that thing was armed to the teeth. Pity, though. The part he was looking for, we didn’t have it. He’d already gone through the process of unhooking everything. Now he’s gotta put it back together. But I hear they’ve got him running around doing all sorts of tests this week, there’s no telling when he’s gonna have that thing up and running fully. It’s more like a damn model than a war machine. Pity, though, it was beautiful when it got up in the air.”
Convoy: “I’d love to see it sometime. From a distance!”

The part won’t be in till Wednesday, and the shadowrunners understand this as their chance. Covoy asks Zero to arrange some sort of way to get the guy off-site.

Zero: “You’ll be hearing from me.”
Convoy: “My bill.” “You bastard!”
DM: He just ends the conversation with how much of the reward he requires. “25%. 32%.”

Zero does a quick and effective hack job to set up a phony conference for the guy, and even manages to email several other riggers and deckers for verisimilitude.

Zero: Instead of the Haberdashers’, it’s going to be the Riggers’ Guild…
Salvo: Convoy’s going to get an invitation.
Convoy: “Sorry, guys, I can’t go on the run…”
Zero: When you look at the timestamp, you’ll be like, “Oh, this is me not having to call you back. Just sending you an invitation to this thing that doesn’t exist.”

Convoy manages to refrain from heading off to the conference, barely. Zero heads off to get soda, which sidetracks the game, as does, you know, EVERYTHING.

DM: That’s how Dr. Doom was really born, that’s his secret origin. A can exploding. “NOOOOOOOO—“ Doctor Doom.
Convoy: “Richards! He shook it!”
DM: It’s just their brand of soda. Richards Brand Soda.
Salvo: He just assumes Reed Richards created the soda.
DM: It was somebody else, like Richards Johnson.

Zero tracks Haxis’s flight, and incidentally discovers that a lot of other hackers and riggers are going too. The group prepares to move into position and act.

Convoy: I’m going to head down to that area Monday night. And I’m going to scan with my commlink to determine what channels there are.
DM: So are they still using megahertz and gigahertz…?
Convoy: You don’t need – just abstract it, dude. I identify their channels. That’s all you need.

Zero is assigned to a sniping position in their plans. To demonstrate his preparation, he produces a briefcase and swiftly assembles the sniper rifle inside it!

Convoy: “Dude, why’d you just assemble a giant sex doll?” “Wrong briefcase!” Hold on, I’m adapting that for rigger control…

After debating ways to stop the security guy’s vehicles, the group proposes to shoot out the car’s tires – but Convoy reminds them of runflat tires. Salvo gets volunteered to crash a stolen car into the security car, by virtue of having bone lacing and thus being unlikely to be crippled. They go out to steal the car.

Salvo: “Got to find something sturdy…ooh, a Prius!”
DM: You find an old 1980 DeLorean.
Salvo: “Oh this guy’s screwed.”
DM: Pristine.
Salvo: “This is made out of steel!”
DM: Be careful, I might have rules if you get over 88 miles per hour!
Convoy: I programmed my van’s photovoltaic paint to look like an innocuous delivery van parked on the side of the road. “Brown Box Delivery.”
DM: “We don’t like no Brown Box Delivery in these parts of town!”
Covoy: Sssssssht – Alabaster White Express!
Zero: Wait, in this setting, isn’t there, like, not any more American South?

They bide their time, and soon enough the security guy takes off on his usual nightly drive! Convoy calls in a fake incident on the radio, using his Rigtalk language specialty to pepper it with jargon to sound official. The two trailing security vehicles peel off.

Convoy: We’re good. Hit it.
Salvo: (feeble noise)
Convoy: You forgot to hotwire a vehicle!
DM: He’s just sitting in the car doing this. (miming driving)

Salvo guns the engine and the rules for ramming are quickly looked up. They run off some calculations; Salvo’s car takes 4S damage, staged down to Moderate, the security guy’s takes 13S. They roll their Crash Tests and promptly slam into walls in turn. Somehow Salvo manages to get his personal damage down to Moderate, while the other guy takes Serious. The others swiftly blur into action! Indigo swiftly draws her heavy pistol to shoot one of the security accompaniments, knocking him off his cycle. Convoy swaps to surveillance, while Salvo gets out of the vehicle.

Salvo: And I use a Simple Action to draw my pistol.
Convoy: A Complex Action is all of your actions.
Salvo: Awwww.
DM: The rider, after his bullet, manages to peel himself out of his vehicle, but that’s his action for the turn. The other rider, not so lucky, had careened into the side of a building, killing him instantly.
Indigo: (who, it should be noted, has been playing this system for decades) I don’t know where you’re asking for Power on this thing.
Convoy: Look at its damage.
Indigo: It’s 6L.
Convoy: 6L? That’s a holdout pistol, not a machine pistol.
Indigo: It’s a machine pistol.
Convoy: Oh god, those are different…

Zero caps a 14S shot with a sniper rifle, which stages up.

Convoy: So he took a Deadly wound and his head exploded.
Zero: (midway between impressed and disbelief that he could be effective) Really?
Convoy: Sniper rifles are really useful if you can use them properly.
Zero: That means my position’s given away.
DM: There’s no one else alive! The only person left alive is John Spartan as he attempts to –
Zero: John Spartan!?
DM: -- push the door open.
Convoy: All right, Salvo, we’re leaving this up to you, get the card off him.
DM: “You son of a bitch… damn.. runners… raaaaaaah!”
Zero: “Well if it ain’t John Spartan!”
Salvo: We wanted to make this look like an accident, should I just punch him?

Salvo grabs him and slams him into the steering column repeatedly until he stops moving. Convoy’s drones spot the patrol returning. They’re now at something of a loss.

Salvo: How are we supposed to get the car out of here?
Convoy: Why? That’s why we stole it.
Salvo: I meant the other one.
Convoy: Why?
Salvo: Then why mention re-crashing it?
Convoy: I thought we were going to take him out more thoroughly. We need to do something with that body that has bullet wounds in it.
Salvo: We’ll throw him in your van. So get your van over here.
Convoy: Eeeeugh.
Salvo: I’ll clean it up.
Convoy: Eeeeeugh.
Salvo: Get the damn thing over here.
Convoy: I really don’t want to.
Salvo: I don’t CARE.
Convoy: We don’t have time.
Zero: Just like real brothers.
Salvo: Bitch bitch bitch.

They quickly manage to set off the flammable vehicles and bolt! With the card in hand, they head off at evasive speed for the compound.

Convoy: What’s the status of the drones around there?
DM: You can that whoever’s flying these aren’t using the software or anything proper as well as they should. They’re on alert but they’re not doing as well as they should. Actually one of the drones managed to record the sight of the larger plane sort of just easing out of the dock… and into the ground. The people in the area saw it… as the word got out that Haxis will not be having a job soon.

Convoy eyes the crashed drone with lust. Zero swiftly falls back into position, jumps into the Matrix, and heads to open the door. He detects that the walking robot is active, but not fully armed; nevertheless, he hacks the hell out of it!

Convoy: Standing orders to my Doberman and Steel Lynx drones, follow the drone that’s active. Then I’m rolling my main one out.
DM: Are you gonna do combat with them or –
Convoy: Hell yes! I’m not bringing them to look pretty!

Crashing into the corridor, they find the complex on full alert! Zero drops into the Matrix to discover that another shadowrun had begun at the same time, with these guys dropping onto the roof! Opportunely, Zero directs security resources towards the other team, keeping the pressure off them.

Zero: No warnings, system ED. Shoot on sight!
DM: Most of the security is surprised to see the machine off and are now following it to see where it’s going.

Convoy monitors radio signals to track security progress. No one remembered to pack a nonlethal weapon, so a bunch of scientists spot them charging down the hall. Indigo and Salvo propose going in and beating them up.

DM: They’re not going to stand there and just… “Oh, I’m giving away FREE HEADLOCKS! Come one, come all!”
Salvo: Any gas tanks around we can just set off?
DM: She’s on top of a chair on the bathroom, any time one of ‘em walks in -- (makes neck-snapping motion)

They finally decided to have Indigo pull a fire alarm while Zero switches the alarm alert location to near the top floor. Having done that, they charge forward to engage the remaining guards!

Salvo: “Lethal or non-lethal, brother?”
Convoy “…I didn’t think you BROUGHT anything for nonlethal.”
Salvo: “I’ve got my fists.”
Convoy: “What’s HE got?” Sensor check, I’m gonna scan him for weapons.

The guard only has basic weapons, nothing to fear in Shadowrun terms – an SMG, a pistol, and a knife.

Salvo: That means I do 13M damage to him.
Convoy: Your strength is 10?!
Salvo: Yeah!
Convoy: Good god.

A quick check of the movement rules lead to the revelation that Salvo’s Quickness is 8, prompting Zero to dub him the ‘little dwarf Bane’. However, he immediately blows his Stealth roll, pushing the game to initiative! Indigo goes first, charging towards the guard as she snaps off a bullet at the guard, dealing Light damage.

DM: Salvo!
Indigo: Salvo! Kick his ass!
Salvo: Well, I’m just shooting him… I’m using my rifle, he’s well within range.
Convoy: What weapon are you using?
Salvo: Remington 950 rifle.
Convoy: What kind of rifle?
Salvo: Sporting rifle, I believe.
Convoy: SPORTING rifle?! …Wabbit season!
Salvo: Security season! Uh, let’s see here…
Convoy: All right, you’re using a sporting rifle, so you’re within short range, that’s difficulty 4…
Salvo: With my smartlink on it, it is -2, but I’m moderately wounded, so it’s back up to 4.
Convoy: Plus another one because you’re walking so it’s 5… minus another one because he’s stationary so it’s four.
Salvo: So four!

The guard takes Serious damage from this. Convoy promptly spins up his Steel Lynx’s MMG and delivers 12D damage.

DM: All right, there’s a couple of things happening at the same time.,
Convoy: Oh, I was afraid of this.
DM: The moment he goes down you guys have a few moments to move forward a bit more. The doors slam open as two more security guards come out, training their weapons down on you. While this is happening, in the background you see another security guard fly down the stairs, the elevator smashes –
Convoy: Hey, the other guys caught up to us.
DM: The elevator smashes to the ground as a large machine begins to step out.
Salvo: Uh-oh.
Convoy: Shit.
DM: On top of him is a strange little device, a little thing with an antenna going up from the top.
Convoy: They hacked him!
Zero: The hell they did, they had to get through me!
Convoy: They hacked him directly!
Zero: I’ll rehack him then.
DM: And then at the very end of the stairs there, you see a very darkly clothed individual holding a medium-sized rifle.

Indigo snaps off two bursts at the security guards, dealing Light and Moderate damage respectively. Salvo bemoans his failure to take a rifle with an underbarrel grenade launcher, but a skilled rifle shot drops the mysterious guy in dark in one shot. Convoy and the security guards go at the same time.

DM: One takes a shot…
Convoy: Feel free to use the Steel Lynx as cover, by the way…

The guards roll low, though, and both of the PCs spend some Combat Pool dice to dodge.

DM: You both adaptly get behind the… Linksys?
Convoy: Steel Lynx.
DM: The shots went wide.
Convoy: Okay, I’m going to put three-round bursts from the MMG into each of them, dropping five Control Pool dice into each burst. Uh, let’s see here… my Steel Lynx has stopped moving, they’re well within range, I have a smartlink, so the target number is very low…
DM: A sudden storm hits! Inside the hallway!
Indigo: What ARE those scientists doing?
Convoy: 11 success on the first one—
DM: Good thing he has Uberdodge!

The shots prove, obviously, fatal. The DM gets briefly irritated, or bemused, as Convoy attempts to look up overdamage rules.

Convoy: My medium machine gun just liquefied them. As a machine gun should, you must admit.
DM: All right, Zero, the large machine steps out of the elevator.
Zero: You are illegally parked on private property… wait, it’s an Aztec machine…
DM: It has a lot of similarities to Aztec weapons.
Convoy: Yeah, what it’s got is the heartripper. As it charges towards you you hear chanting.
Zero: Kali-ma! KALI-MA!
DM: And begins to unleash a salvo of bullets at your big drone!
Convoy: What weapon is it using?
DM: The basic equivalent of medium rifles.
Zero: Am I trying to rehack it?
DM: Right now you’d have to take out the little thing on it before you can do anything.
Indigo: Can I throw a shuriken at it?
DM: You… have shuriken?
Indigo: I have 20 shuriken, yes. I have a throwing weapon specialization IN shuriken.
DM: Three success against your—
Convoy: Well it can’t DODGE.
DM: Four successes.
Convoy: …I don’t believe it can get through this thing’s armor with that. The armor on this thing, and I swear to god this is straight out of the book, is nine. NINE!
Salvo: Damn!
Zero: It’s a flying black box!
Convoy: It’s not flying. It’s a fucking weapon of war, dude.
DM: Well I-I-I put this guy in here because I wanted something heavy that would take a lot of fire to take down, but I didn’t want him to do too much damage, but, you know. I didn’t realize you had a fucking juggernaut.
Salvo: Next time, I don’t care if it’s a sneaking mission, I’m taking all my weapons.

Zero cleanly snipes the control unit from the robot, startling the hell out of the decker and samurai that step out of the elevator in turn.

Convoy: “This, by the way, is why you want your walking weapons rigged and not programmed!”

Everyone stubbornly shoots the Steel Lynx, not that anyone is accusing the DM of holding a grudge; the first one still can’t get through its armor, but the samurai has APDS ammo, and its 2S damage becomes Moderate damage to the drone.

DM: Finally, you guys take some damage, besides Salvo! Indigo! Salvo!
Indigo: I’m heading for the door!

Indigo races into the next room and scoops up the device! The Steel Lynx annihilates the street samurai and sweeps across the decker.

DM: Ah, finally somehow who doesn’t die! He actually pulled off three successes on Body!
Convoy: But I still had 2 successes.
DM: So what, he still takes Deadly damage?
Convoy: Yeah.
DM: God damn it! I need to give these people like 20 Body. What the fuck!

The DM angrily rants about tiny corridors and low ceilings for a while, though Convoy starts backing his vehicles right the hell out.

DM: Indigo! Your leader’s cowering out!
Convoy: She’s the leader!
DM: Your rigger’s cowering out trying to get away with the car!
Zero: Starscream is flying away.
Salvo: It’s actually Ravage.
DM: Salvo, there’s one target left. A cowering rigger. An unarmed rigger. A six year old child rigger with babies in his arms.
Convoy: That are also his somehow. I don’t know why you’re using that kind of rifle, dude.
Salvo: I did not expect this kind of combat! Seriously!
Convoy: You expected deer, apparently.
Salvo: What’re you talking about? Sport rifles are awesome!

Some more hacking and violence occur in the background, and at last, the containment to their target is breached!

DM: The door opens up, revealing the alien device!
Convoy: It’s a Golden Arches. We came all this way ‘cuz the people at Azetechnology are fucking idiots.

…it is, in fact, the Tesseract, which the DM openly cops to. The radio reports that security is heading down to intercept them, at which point Convoy starts yelling misinformation on the radio. The robot, meanwhile, waits for commands.

Zero: Waits for additional commands, what might those be?
Convoy and Indigo: WALK INTO THE VAN!
Convoy: Oh, we’re never gonna find a buyer for this fucker!
Zero: He won’t FIT in the van, will he? You’re gonna be scraping your rear bumper all the way home.
Convoy: I can carry a LOT.
Indigo: He don’t care at this point.

They not only steal the Tesseract and the robot, but also the experimental drone.

Convoy: I’d like to say this is probably the most successful run on Aztechnology in Shadowrun history.
Zero: Is there anything else worthwhile for taking? I’m checking it out, I got five successes!
DM: On your run out, looking through the different windows, you see experimental weapons.
Indigo: Experimental weapons? I kick open the door, yoink!
Convoy: You know what’s going to happen? I’m gonna take one speedbump, roll too many 1s, and the mushroom cloud will be visible from orbit.

Salvo steals the APDS ammo from the dead orc. Convoy’s van is struggling at this point. Zero, not satisfied, doesn’t jack out quite yet.

Zero: How about before I unjack myself I plant some information in the system implicating Haxis? Since his timely exit from the premises…
DM: Give me a roll.
Convoy: You know, I don’t actually approve of this…
Salvo: You don’t know!
Convoy: I know.
Zero: But it’s awfully convenient.
Convoy: But still, I feel bad.
Zero: You’re not in the Matrix, get out of here.

With victory more or less in hand, the group gets the hell out of Dodge. They have to drop off the Tesseract, and then probably get WAY out of town for a bit.

Convoy: Meanwhile, I’m gonna be calling my mechanic later and be like, “You’ll never guess what I got.”
DM: “Oh man, I gotta tell you, my girlfriend just married that Haxis guy!” Oh no. Wah wah!
Convoy: Wait, his GIRLFRIEND just married Haxis? He’s probably pissed.
Salvo: “What the fuck?!”
DM: “I hope you did horrible things to him!”
Convoy: They met at the convention, it was love at first sight!

They hide low to recharge, refuel, and prepare for difficulty. News reports pin the blame on the other shadowrunning team, to their mild relief, whereas internal blame fingers Haxis; their employer is so impressed he gives them the stealth bonus anyway, and even charitably offers to set them up with a fence. Satisfied, the team settles back in to assess their loot and earning and congratulate themselves!