Reading this crap from you always makes me so angry and frustrated. You are so much better than the shit-bar you set yourself to. I have down moments, but Jesus, if my thought patterns were this low, all the time, for everything I would be looking for help--there's low and then there's rock bottom all the time.

This sort of frame of mind isn't healthy for you or anyone around you.

Blaming everyone else for things out of their control and yours is ridiculous--it's like saying it's your fault New Orleans flooded or lightening struck someone's house.

Go app somewhere else. You are SO willing to give up the MOMENT there is even a WHIFF of rejection(even BEFORE you start)--what's the point of doing anything? If shit were easy and you were guaranteed to win every god damn time there's be no point to anything. No one would do anything. THERE WOULD BE NO D&D. THINK OF THE D&D CHILDREN.