This is a long-delayed game report, and as such the recollections are a bit hazy. I apologize for the low quality; I'm trying to catch up, at which point I'll be able to return to better ones.

Aiden: "Hey there, me. What am I doing later?"

After a few weeks' enforced pause from the game, Aiden has become so lonely that he's now hitting on the only potentially-willing person in the party -- but never mind! The party, having slain a red dragon, has reached the end of the trial passage. The DM pauses, as if to make a grand pronouncement.

DM: (belches quite loudly)
Drusila: (quite unable to see just who did that, but nonetheless annoyed) Hey, I'm trying to hear what the DM's saying!

The party crosses the final threshold -- and emerges into a part of the dungeon long-since explored. No sooner does the last one of them step through the door than the portal slams shut behind them, blocking off their access to the trial passage unless they go all the way through it once again.

Aiden: (rants thoroughly about how the party should have never gone through that passage, and how they should have studied the history of the religion involved, etc.)
Aliarra: I like how after a few weeks of not playing this character, he's gone from "chronic sex offender" to "angry voice of the player".
Aiden: Oh yeah, that was how I was playing him...

The party returns to the room where they had left the friendly NPC to read the magic writing that causes those who read it go insane, only to discover that, completely unexpectedly, he had gone insane from reading the magic writing that causes those who read it to go insane. A quick exploration of the tunnels later and the party discovers said wizard possessing an ancient, evil heart, which he immediately consumes. One swift vanishing act later and the entire ruined-temple-complex is shaking as if to shatter.

Mirrshalla: "We'd better get out of here before we're crushed to death!"
Aliarra: Don't worry, it'll take exactly three seconds longer to collapse than we take leaving.

The DM ignores this at the same time as he proves it: the PCs escape just as the tunnel collapses behind them, leaving the group stranded in the frozen north without any way to get back home.

Aiden: I guess I'll start casting Endure Elements. But I bet Aliarra doesn't want one, since she's so prepared!
Aliarra: Shut up and cast it.
Aiden: While you're all bundled up and freezing, I'll be all, "Hey, I'm too warm in this thick clothing! I'm going to strip down to my swimsuit!"
Drusila: I'd better do something to keep morale up... I sing a rousing song in Banglasharan!

The other players look awkward or horrified, since Drusila had spoken quickly enough that there had been no pause between "a" and "rousing". This alarming moment is broken by the sudden appearance of dwarves, who very conveniently offered to allow the party passage on their immense underground railway system. The PCs travel briefly underground before clambering onto an immense stone platform on rails.

Aiden: Oh man, they're going to ask us for our tickets...
Aliarra: (mimes punching a guy, then throwing him overboard) "No ticket."
Hanzo: When we get to the dwarven kingdom I need to find someplace I can buy poison. A... herbalist, or black market trader, or brothel -- no, that's not what I meant...
Aliarra: If it's a brothel, it kind of is "poisoning your blade".

The party encounters a bullette blocking the track. Drusila takes severe damage, which Aiden casts a spell to heal.

Drusila: "Cure LIGHT wounds! Is that the best you can do?!"

And with their one obligatory random encounter discharged, the party reaches the dwarven kingdom... but not without speculating what horrific creatures they might encounter next...

Aliarra: Look out, it's a Grand Ancient Mohel!