First, my apologies for how slow I've been about getting this out. I blame cold, uncaring life.

Second: an explanation! With newfound time constraints severely crippling one DM's ability to generate and run adventures, we persuaded (read: forced) a different player to take up the mantle of DMing for alternate weeks. As a consequence, I have a few new adventurers to introduce to you:

Aliarra: Human crusader more-or-less pursuing the popular "AOOs for EVERYONE for EVERYTHING!" build.
Mirrshala: Banglasharan warblade with a focus on Concentration checks. Baglasharans are catpeople in this world.
Drusila: Banglasharan rogue/ninja/baker. Only one of these is the actual class.
Aiden: Human (? I forget, to be honest...) cleric. Through some combination of feats, has a ludicrously powerful AOE heal that runs off Turn Undead.

Our story begins with our plucky heroes each being sent an invitation to meet a Mysterious Person in the middle of the night in a deserted town square. Drusila disguises herself as a ninja (or possibly a nun, mym memory on this point is unclear) so that her respectable baker livelihood will not be tarnished by shady associations and adventuring. The player, however, is having trouble with the internet, and consequently misses some of the description...

Drusila: What'd I miss?
Aliarra: Well, you were under attack by thirteen pastry ninjas...
Drusila: Hey, can you move the microphone closer to the DM? I'm having trouble hearing...
Aliarra: You've got to learn to project!
DM: I don't project!
Drusila: If Aliarra stays quiet I can hear him.
Aliarra: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The heroes slowly gather in the deserted square to meet their would-be patron. Said patron is, surprisingly, neither overtly shady not immediately suspicious in ways that require complete genre blindness to ignore. The patron explains that HIS patron wishes for the heroes to recover a valuable magical item or artifact or the like before an eeeevil person obtains it. Being of heroic mindset, the players agree. At some point Aliarra's player inexplicably starts singing Jiminy Cricket's "I'm No Fool".

Mirrshala: I've never been so turned off in my life!

The next morning, the adventurers set out on a miserable horse-ride through crops and fields of incredibly tall grass...

Aliarra: I stay on the lookout, this looks like the perfect spot for an ambush.
DM: In fact no sooner do you say that then a figure steps out of the grass in front of you.
Aliarra: I stop the horses!
Aiden: Everyone freeze! Human sight is based on movement!

The figure, as it turns out, is an armorless, toothless thug carrying a spear who attempts to shake down the PCs for money. The PCs point out that he's an armorless thug with a crude spear facing off against four experienced warriors with magical armor and masterwork weaponry; coupled with a well-rolled Intimidate check, the bandit leader is reduced to jaw-dropping, pants-wetting fear. Sadly, this proved ineffective against the other bandits in the field, who rushed and were immediately slaughtered. The PCs continued on to find a deserted town, the residents of which apparently slain by porcupine demons or somesuch. Investigating, they find a corpse in a water barrel beneath a broken window.

DM: It doesn't seem like it was thrown out of the window, though.
Aliarra: Water kills them with such force that they break nearby windows.
DM: Shut up.

Mirrshala attempts to steal some chips from the DM, but fails. The PCs trace these demons to an abandoned and now-corrupted temple/shrine/cathedral thing, from which low chanting is audible. While they ponder opportunities to break in, Mirrshala's player gets up.

Aliarra: Going to fight the DM for the chip bag again?
Mirrshala: (smugly) Oh, I don't have to fight him for it.
DM: (glances down to where he'd set the chip bag, and realizes it isn't there any more) Oh FUCK!
Aidan: I wonder if should cast Magic Weapon before we get into battle.
Aliarra: Stroke your hammer till it glows!
Drusila: I'm going to sneak in the window.
Aliarra: I still say we should just smash through the front door.
Drusila: Now now, let subtlety have its wily way.

Drusila successfully sneaks in, to determine that the front door is very effectively barricaded. The others PCs begin to sneak in the window as well. Aidan and Mirrshala succeed their Move Silently checks; Aliarra, however, is not only in full plate, but rolls a natural one. She crashes to the ground, beginning combat stunned. Nevertheless, the party swiftly wipes up the creatures despite their mild DR. Venturing further forth, they are briefly stymied by chain monsters, but break through to the surprised wizard behind them and end his evil ways!

This was a full session, but the delay has unfortunately cast much of it from my mind. I hope next session will be posted more promptly.