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This game report dates from the Sunday before last, and I apologize for its delay. I was rather distracted the past week. This isn't how I'd hoped to start writing about the new game, but, well, here we are anyway I'm afraid. It's going to of necessity be rather brief.
The cast of characters:
Sargassas Surgaroth: Lizardman priest of the god of the untamed wilderness. By knocking out the extra lizard man HD he reduced the race's ECL to acceptable levels for this campaign. Sargassas has a ludicrously high AC thanks to his scales, and a penchant for hissing.
Khoriane Alverdrys: Gloaming warlock. According to her backstory she was once evil, but had a powerful spell cast upon her that bound her for a year while her spirit was brought to the light of redemption. Combines a 250 foot no-range-penalty eldritch blast with the ability to fly.
Ralth Dinfarther von Ralskalper III: Halfling thief. In this campaign, halflings are a powerhouse of a country, with steampunk-level technology and a dictatorship to rival China's. Ralth made the mistake of getting caught lightening his family vaults, and was banished (or fled) their lands.
Iglar: Half-giant psychic warrior. A powerhouse built around using an axe that does 3d6 damage thanks to half-giant abilities.
Dian Ryuji: A recently-rebirthed dragonborn monk.
For those of you unfamiliar with the personalities involved, here's an exercise: Try to match characters from the previous campaign with those from this one! Though two of them are blatantly obvious.
As our story begins, the five PCs are being brought to the Adventurer's Guild, the framing concept for this campaign. The Adventurer's Guild is a massive guild that brings all adventurers under the same banner, distributing work, paying fees, making arrangements, etc. Given their relative strengths, the characters have all been invited/required to join. The DM begins by having the PCs start to arrive -- though Iglar is having connection difficulties.
Iglar: There's many a vampong over here!
Each of them has a patron who sponsored their entry into the guild.
DM: Dian, you just underwent the rite of rebirth that transformed you into a dragon. As you emerged from the egg that you slept in, you noticed that the cracks in the shell form words. "All who follow me--"
Dian: Hold on, I'm writing this down. I know it's going to come back to bite me in the ass!
DM: "All who follow me engage in war against the five-headed queen. For most this means eternal conflict in battle. For you, I wish you to determine if the one who follows magic can be redeemed. This is the way you will serve me." As you finish reading, you see someone running up to you. "Are you Dian Ryuji?"
Dian: "...Yes."
DM: "This is for you, sir." He hands you a latter and a pamphlet.
Dian: Is it a self-help pamphlet? "So you've been reborn as a dragon"?
Given the information on the guild, Dian sets off, with many a comment on exactly what kind of monk he should become (thanks to his botching of his initial feats). As usual, it goes straight to hell.
Ralth: My god, that would be a fantastic prestige class! "Man-tit-slap!"
The players reach the guild, each of them meeting their overseer, then gathering for the formal initiation ceremony. After the incredibly trite joke of the swearing-in ("Repeat after me. I.." "I..." "Your name..." "Your name...") the ten inductees undergo a magical ceremony which allows them to display the guild's crest on their left palm as identification, and then are assigned to two parties of five each.
Sargassas: Is the other group just, like, five normal people? An elf, a dwarf, a human...
DM: Actually, yes. They put you five together because you were so weird. And, a halfing, but, you know, they don't like halflings.
Ralth: I'm going to die soon!
The forming of the party is interrupted by a worrisome conversation, implying that a person who never, ever took on patronage of a party had specifically insisted on them. The attendant leads them through the guild and into an immense, descending staircase...
Dian: "So this Vexian doesn't take on parties often, does he?"
DM: "You're the first in a hundreds of years." As you keep descending, the air begins to grow hot, and dry. The stairs lead to a cavern, which continues to head downwards--
Ralth: "He's a dragon, isn't he?"
DM: (Overtly thrown off by the PCs guessing this) "...yes."
Sargassas: Probably a bronze dragon, then.
DM: As you reach the opening of the cave, you look out on an immense desert. All you can see is sand. As you watch, the sand begins to stir, and from it rises the immense mass of a blue dragon.
A long moment of silence.
Dian: This is what you meant when you said you were screwing me over!
The dragon, Vexian, takes a moment to explain that he serves magic, rather than the Five-Headed Queen --
DM: "...so as to put a stop to certain glares that I'm receiving."
Dian: I wasn't glaring! All my glowering is on the inside!
Iglar: "My name is Iglar and I love my new job!"
--and explains their first quest -- to retrieve an axe from an orc, and incidentally put an end to the orcs' depredations of a small town. They will be teleported there, and given a small stick which, when broken at the end of their mission, will teleport them back. For lack of other options, the party agrees to these terms, and embark into the teleporter chambers the next day.
DM: As you teleport into the village, you're immediately greeted by the sound of screams!
Iglar: Oh great, the orcs are attacking!
Sargassas: I look around, can I tell where the orcs are attacking from?
DM: You don't see any orcs.
Dian: Which way are the people fleeing from?
DM: They're fleeing almost as if in a circle, which you're at the center of.
A moment of silence then turns into a moment of dirty looks, followed by a couple of listen checks.
DM: You hear a loud voice speaking in a nearby building.
Ralth: I'm the normal looking one, I'll open the door.
DM: As you open the door, the people inside scream and begin to push back away from you --
Ralth: I hold up my hand with the guild symbol on it!
DM: --pushing past each other, hiding behind tables. They don't seem to notice the symbol.
Khoraine: All right, I'm rolling Intimidate. "STOP TALKING AND LISTEN TO US!"
DM: Wow, that... actually worked. The room falls into a terrified silence.
Sargassas: "Now I'llss playssss the good cop..."
Quickly setting matters straight--
Ralth: "We're not all bad! I might be, I don't know yet."
--the party determines that the orcs have been raiding from the forest that borders the outskirts of the farmlands, which are reclaimed former-forests themselves. They appropriate a cart and quickly disguise themselves -- Iglar as a massive farmer, Ralth and Khoraine as children, while Dian and Sargassas hide under the hay in the back of the cart. They roll along the road and are swiftly ambushed by a small raiding party of three orcs. Sargassas casts Obscuring Mist, hiding them from the orcish arrows while they swiftly don their armor, only to discover the orcs have fled. Now equipped, they head into the forest only to meet the full dozen orcs. Arrows and blows are quickly exchanged, but the fight ends when Iglar psionically enlarges himself and deals out a ludicrous crit to the chieftain.
Iglar: "I did that!" (a moment's pause) "I am not special ed!"
Retrieving the axe, the party heads back to the now-jubilant town.
Ralth: Oh NOW the mood changes!
Sargassas: All right, I break the stick.
DM: Would this be a good time to point out that none of you ever got the stick?
Silence.
Sargassas: I GOT THE--
DM: He said he'd give it to you, but no one ever actually got it. You just took off --
All: (Threats, profanities, fury, rage--)
DM: Pfft, like I'd really do that to you. You have the stick. You snap it.
A pause.
Sargassas: And?
DM: Nothing happens.
Ralth: He gave us a fake stick!
Sarghassas: I scan it with Detect Magic.
DM: There's absolutely nothing magical about it.
Dian: That bastard. (Not entirely clear about whether this was directed to the dragon or the DM. Probably both.)
Ralth: Snap the axe! See if the patron likes THAT!
And so lost and abandoned on an entirely different continent, the party must choose between trying to catch a ship back to the guild, or risking the ire of the halfling nation...
The cast of characters:
Sargassas Surgaroth: Lizardman priest of the god of the untamed wilderness. By knocking out the extra lizard man HD he reduced the race's ECL to acceptable levels for this campaign. Sargassas has a ludicrously high AC thanks to his scales, and a penchant for hissing.
Khoriane Alverdrys: Gloaming warlock. According to her backstory she was once evil, but had a powerful spell cast upon her that bound her for a year while her spirit was brought to the light of redemption. Combines a 250 foot no-range-penalty eldritch blast with the ability to fly.
Ralth Dinfarther von Ralskalper III: Halfling thief. In this campaign, halflings are a powerhouse of a country, with steampunk-level technology and a dictatorship to rival China's. Ralth made the mistake of getting caught lightening his family vaults, and was banished (or fled) their lands.
Iglar: Half-giant psychic warrior. A powerhouse built around using an axe that does 3d6 damage thanks to half-giant abilities.
Dian Ryuji: A recently-rebirthed dragonborn monk.
For those of you unfamiliar with the personalities involved, here's an exercise: Try to match characters from the previous campaign with those from this one! Though two of them are blatantly obvious.
As our story begins, the five PCs are being brought to the Adventurer's Guild, the framing concept for this campaign. The Adventurer's Guild is a massive guild that brings all adventurers under the same banner, distributing work, paying fees, making arrangements, etc. Given their relative strengths, the characters have all been invited/required to join. The DM begins by having the PCs start to arrive -- though Iglar is having connection difficulties.
Iglar: There's many a vampong over here!
Each of them has a patron who sponsored their entry into the guild.
DM: Dian, you just underwent the rite of rebirth that transformed you into a dragon. As you emerged from the egg that you slept in, you noticed that the cracks in the shell form words. "All who follow me--"
Dian: Hold on, I'm writing this down. I know it's going to come back to bite me in the ass!
DM: "All who follow me engage in war against the five-headed queen. For most this means eternal conflict in battle. For you, I wish you to determine if the one who follows magic can be redeemed. This is the way you will serve me." As you finish reading, you see someone running up to you. "Are you Dian Ryuji?"
Dian: "...Yes."
DM: "This is for you, sir." He hands you a latter and a pamphlet.
Dian: Is it a self-help pamphlet? "So you've been reborn as a dragon"?
Given the information on the guild, Dian sets off, with many a comment on exactly what kind of monk he should become (thanks to his botching of his initial feats). As usual, it goes straight to hell.
Ralth: My god, that would be a fantastic prestige class! "Man-tit-slap!"
The players reach the guild, each of them meeting their overseer, then gathering for the formal initiation ceremony. After the incredibly trite joke of the swearing-in ("Repeat after me. I.." "I..." "Your name..." "Your name...") the ten inductees undergo a magical ceremony which allows them to display the guild's crest on their left palm as identification, and then are assigned to two parties of five each.
Sargassas: Is the other group just, like, five normal people? An elf, a dwarf, a human...
DM: Actually, yes. They put you five together because you were so weird. And, a halfing, but, you know, they don't like halflings.
Ralth: I'm going to die soon!
The forming of the party is interrupted by a worrisome conversation, implying that a person who never, ever took on patronage of a party had specifically insisted on them. The attendant leads them through the guild and into an immense, descending staircase...
Dian: "So this Vexian doesn't take on parties often, does he?"
DM: "You're the first in a hundreds of years." As you keep descending, the air begins to grow hot, and dry. The stairs lead to a cavern, which continues to head downwards--
Ralth: "He's a dragon, isn't he?"
DM: (Overtly thrown off by the PCs guessing this) "...yes."
Sargassas: Probably a bronze dragon, then.
DM: As you reach the opening of the cave, you look out on an immense desert. All you can see is sand. As you watch, the sand begins to stir, and from it rises the immense mass of a blue dragon.
A long moment of silence.
Dian: This is what you meant when you said you were screwing me over!
The dragon, Vexian, takes a moment to explain that he serves magic, rather than the Five-Headed Queen --
DM: "...so as to put a stop to certain glares that I'm receiving."
Dian: I wasn't glaring! All my glowering is on the inside!
Iglar: "My name is Iglar and I love my new job!"
--and explains their first quest -- to retrieve an axe from an orc, and incidentally put an end to the orcs' depredations of a small town. They will be teleported there, and given a small stick which, when broken at the end of their mission, will teleport them back. For lack of other options, the party agrees to these terms, and embark into the teleporter chambers the next day.
DM: As you teleport into the village, you're immediately greeted by the sound of screams!
Iglar: Oh great, the orcs are attacking!
Sargassas: I look around, can I tell where the orcs are attacking from?
DM: You don't see any orcs.
Dian: Which way are the people fleeing from?
DM: They're fleeing almost as if in a circle, which you're at the center of.
A moment of silence then turns into a moment of dirty looks, followed by a couple of listen checks.
DM: You hear a loud voice speaking in a nearby building.
Ralth: I'm the normal looking one, I'll open the door.
DM: As you open the door, the people inside scream and begin to push back away from you --
Ralth: I hold up my hand with the guild symbol on it!
DM: --pushing past each other, hiding behind tables. They don't seem to notice the symbol.
Khoraine: All right, I'm rolling Intimidate. "STOP TALKING AND LISTEN TO US!"
DM: Wow, that... actually worked. The room falls into a terrified silence.
Sargassas: "Now I'llss playssss the good cop..."
Quickly setting matters straight--
Ralth: "We're not all bad! I might be, I don't know yet."
--the party determines that the orcs have been raiding from the forest that borders the outskirts of the farmlands, which are reclaimed former-forests themselves. They appropriate a cart and quickly disguise themselves -- Iglar as a massive farmer, Ralth and Khoraine as children, while Dian and Sargassas hide under the hay in the back of the cart. They roll along the road and are swiftly ambushed by a small raiding party of three orcs. Sargassas casts Obscuring Mist, hiding them from the orcish arrows while they swiftly don their armor, only to discover the orcs have fled. Now equipped, they head into the forest only to meet the full dozen orcs. Arrows and blows are quickly exchanged, but the fight ends when Iglar psionically enlarges himself and deals out a ludicrous crit to the chieftain.
Iglar: "I did that!" (a moment's pause) "I am not special ed!"
Retrieving the axe, the party heads back to the now-jubilant town.
Ralth: Oh NOW the mood changes!
Sargassas: All right, I break the stick.
DM: Would this be a good time to point out that none of you ever got the stick?
Silence.
Sargassas: I GOT THE--
DM: He said he'd give it to you, but no one ever actually got it. You just took off --
All: (Threats, profanities, fury, rage--)
DM: Pfft, like I'd really do that to you. You have the stick. You snap it.
A pause.
Sargassas: And?
DM: Nothing happens.
Ralth: He gave us a fake stick!
Sarghassas: I scan it with Detect Magic.
DM: There's absolutely nothing magical about it.
Dian: That bastard. (Not entirely clear about whether this was directed to the dragon or the DM. Probably both.)
Ralth: Snap the axe! See if the patron likes THAT!
And so lost and abandoned on an entirely different continent, the party must choose between trying to catch a ship back to the guild, or risking the ire of the halfling nation...
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