Okay, I'm fed up.

I'm ready for the break now.

I've been working my ass off for years now to try to crawl closer to a "better" life, and I'm sick of this minutely incremental process, ten steps forward and nine steps back, trying to reach some sort of improvement.

I want my break. I want something to go unexpectedly and inexplicably right.

I know it's impossible. I know entropy explicitly forbids good things from ever happening, but yet, this doesn't seem to stop OTHER people from occasionally having some substantial or significant good luck.

Pathetic, I know. I won't give up, I'll crawl and scrape my way towards that distant ideal of "better" until I reach it no matter how long I'm being dragged back down the mountain, but still... dammit, it's been YEARS I've been at this. I want a break. I need a break. Fork it over.