Dragon of Life (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dragonoflife) wrote2008-06-23 09:02 am
dragonoflife) wrote2008-06-23 09:02 am
(no subject)
What a great morning! I managed to forget my keys, my wallet, and my metro card! I borrowed a spare to get to work and back, but I'll be having no lunch today (except an ancient bag of chips squirreled away in my bag). Brilliant, self.
I have an incredible propensity to do things like this. On the one hand, even with a mental establishment of routine and an outright knowledge of necessities such as this, I manage not to think of them at the moment I need to. On the other, even when I do VERY SPECIFICIALLY remind myself to get an item I've remembered, that reminder doesn't stick in my memory properly. Even routine business such as putting on shoes knocks the thought clean out of my head, until half an hour later when I realize I've neglected something important and swear vigorously.
This sort of thing really upsets me. Much more than it would the average person, I think. I mean, I'm supposed to be smart. Hell, that's really the only thing I can at all claim to stand out in; I have a lot of brainpower even for the relatively brainy people I hang out with. That's the ONLY positive attribute I have, I don't have ANYthing else I can claim to be good at, no talents, no other positives. And yet every time I forget something like this -- and it's pretty damn often -- it's a screaming, pounding reminder that I really am stupid as dirt, that I don't have ANYthing to call me own. Every time I do something this boneheaded -- and THAT's pretty damn often, too -- it lingers in my memory, for YEARS, and comes up all too often to bring me back down to earth again.
If I don't have my brainpower, what DO I have?
I have an incredible propensity to do things like this. On the one hand, even with a mental establishment of routine and an outright knowledge of necessities such as this, I manage not to think of them at the moment I need to. On the other, even when I do VERY SPECIFICIALLY remind myself to get an item I've remembered, that reminder doesn't stick in my memory properly. Even routine business such as putting on shoes knocks the thought clean out of my head, until half an hour later when I realize I've neglected something important and swear vigorously.
This sort of thing really upsets me. Much more than it would the average person, I think. I mean, I'm supposed to be smart. Hell, that's really the only thing I can at all claim to stand out in; I have a lot of brainpower even for the relatively brainy people I hang out with. That's the ONLY positive attribute I have, I don't have ANYthing else I can claim to be good at, no talents, no other positives. And yet every time I forget something like this -- and it's pretty damn often -- it's a screaming, pounding reminder that I really am stupid as dirt, that I don't have ANYthing to call me own. Every time I do something this boneheaded -- and THAT's pretty damn often, too -- it lingers in my memory, for YEARS, and comes up all too often to bring me back down to earth again.
If I don't have my brainpower, what DO I have?
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For one, average human memory is not as ideal as you seem to believe, and for a specific counterexample, I'm smart, but my memory sucks. Oh yeah, sure, ask me to memorize a string of numbers, that I can do. But if you want me to remember to call the doctor, or to pick up something essential at the store, or where I put that electronic doodad (or my keys), my mind's a sieve.
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